Posts Tagged ‘manuscript’

In one sentence is the spark of a story. Ignite.

 My apologies for not posting quite as much, but it can be blamed on something very, very good: I have been a writing fiend. Despite work. Despite sickness and brain fog and appointments. Despite everything.

I am writing. A lot.

What was a goal of managing one chapter or one short story to Brittaney every Thursday, has now grown into being three or four chapters, on top of a short story. Or, like I currently am at:  seven chapters. SEVEN CHAPTERS IN LESS THAN A WEEK! That’s with work, sickness, nieces, appointments… And Kingdom Hearts and Doctor Who. All those distractions, and yet here I go, writing writing writing.

I give a lot of that credit to Brittaney for motivating me.

TEAMWORK!

BCAP1

BCAP2

BCAP3

Have I ever mentioned how much I adore Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul? Because I do.

Annnnnway. Consider the inspirational spark ignited. I am getting through this revision like I should be, and don’t plan on stopping there. I hope to not only participate in NaNoWriMo again this year, but actually WIN and get that 50,000 words written. And then, the biggest step of all – the manuscript I am currently revising will be going to agents hopefully by February.

It is time I do what I am supposed to do: write.

~Angel

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I use my veins to create the color I paint from
Delve into something ’til my
heart becomes my paint brush

Dream

I’ve mentioned this roughly four trillion times by now, I’m sure – My unspeakable desire to break free of this rut I’m in and be back to my normal life of dream chasing (though you can hardly call me ‘normal’… maybe just back to my old self.) Because I am not a desk job person. I am not an office monkey. To be honest, my work doesn’t make me happy anymore, it doesn’t pertain to my future, and it doesn’t help whatsoever with the Mysterious Sickness of Doom.

So I stare into this paper instead of sitting at a cubicle
Take all ugly shit inside and try to make it beautiful

So, I declare it time to get my ass into gear. For real. Not just hoping I can and against my will it doesn’t work out. No. Not this time. This time, I am giving myself a set amount of time for these revisions, set amount of time to get it to my Beta reader, set amount of time to review it once again. I’m giving myself oh-so-long to work on something different to clear my mind of this story so I can look at it with fresh eyes. But mark my words. I’m getting something accomplished this year. I’m getting my query letters to agents out before 2013 is over with. I’m done waiting. I’m done letting everything else take priority over what I really want out of this life. If the Day Job wants to stand in the way, then… I guess it’ll have to go for now.

Because it is time I get back to Angel Young – the writer. Not Angel Young, the office monkey.

~Angel

So, some of you may already be aware of the fact I had my very first rheumatology appointment on Tuesday. I’ve been so worn out, Ipromise haven’t had the chance to update you. To sum it up fairly simply:

Lots and lots of tests. Twenty tubes of blood drawn. Trying to rule out lots of things: fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue, Lupus, horrible “c” word which shall not be named, etc. So far, from the lab work I’ve seen and my regular doctor looked at, I’m coming up positive for some sort of connective tissue disease. But what I’m going to end up with as a diagnoses is really up in the air still. I have a follow-up the 26th to go over my labs and see what the next steps will be, or if she has any answers for me.

And while I’m scared to death it’s going to be something life-altering, no cure, or fatal – I am very relieved about something: I’m not crazy. Well, not about this (ha.)

I have PROOF of something being wrong with these test results. There is something here that shows I’m not lying, and it isn’t all in my head. The Mysterious Sickness of Doom may have a NAME. You have no idea the relief that brings me.

Only now I have to keep from worrying myself to death that it’s something that’ll take me out sooner rather than later.

In other news, I’m slowly but surely getting through the revisions on my WIP. My Beta reader is keeping me motivated by taking on a chapter at a time, and I have to keep up by getting these chapters ready. So far, so good. And really, I’ve been needing this outlet to make me relax with the large amount of stress hitting me in the face. Keep Calm and Write Something. It’s that simple.

Anyway, I’m off. Much to do.

~Angel

I’m afraid because I know I cannot fight forever.

Between stress and sickness, I’m starting to meet my match. Mortality is slapping in the face and reminding me of just what I stated above: I cannot fight forever. I am a strong individual, but I cannot hold up to constant attempts to drag me down. Nobody can. Eventually, something has to give. I will crumble and break, and at this rate, it will be sooner rather than later.

I ended up staying home from work today. Which is a big deal, really, when you consider the fact that I’ve been working crazy hours even when I’ve had fevers, blood gushing out of my ear canal, been vomiting my guys out, and been in so much pain I could barely move – BUT STILL CONTINUED WORKING. But between stress and being miserable and knowing I’d probably die if I attempted to go in… Yeah. It was a day I had to choose to put health first. Which sort of bit me in the ass, and I’m sure I’ll have to pay for it tomorrow. But you know what? I don’t care. Not anymore.

I’m learning to live my life a different way, slowly but surely. I have to make choices based on what’s best for me in the end, and it’s gotten very difficult to figure out exactly what IS best for me. What should my priorities be? What needs to be put first? I cannot do everything, not like I used to.

It sounds like a change of subject, but it really isn’t – but there is a song from WICKED called “Defying Gravity” that I’ve fallen in love with. It’s hard to explain without ruining part of WICKED for anyone who hasn’t seen it, but it’s basically a very self-empowering song, where Elphaba makes her choice to live by what she deems right and not doing what she’s told anymore, even if it’s scary to make that choice. I want to get a tattoo based off this song, I love it so much. I’m not going to get into it very much right now, because I plan to do a post on it alone in the coming weeks.

The point is, this song is my anthem. This song is giving me the boost I need to make the choices I must. Which includes my decision to stop letting excuses stop me from chasing my dreams. I may not be able to do as much as I could before, but even baby steps will be better than nothing. So, little by little, every day, I’ve been trying to accomplish at least a little something that has nothing to do with the day job or house work or adult responsibilities etc. Be it writing, even just a little bit, or reading, or booking shoots, or editing pictures I’m behind on. Or, like today, posting a blog entry and sitting and editing my manuscript to get it ready for beta readers. Getting myself steps closer to achieving a dream. And it feels good. Damn good.

I’ve spent the most part of my day curled up in bed, in and out of a feverish daze, either crying from stress or trying to sleep. Until I finally got tired of being whiney about everything that was wrong and decided to crack open the old laptop, pull up my Work In Progress and my notes on it, and start editing once more. You know what? It feels amazing. I feel amazing. Because for that long, I can zone out of this world and be in that one. I can leave behind the stress of this world and the physical pain and discomfort, and just work on what makes me happy. The distraction is good for me. I’ve missed my old friend Writing. My cure for the bad things, even now.

Just goes to show I should follow my own advice: Keep Calm and Write Something.

Well, time to jump back into my writerly LaLa Land. 🙂

~Angel

I have not been having the best of days. So, as I write this, I’m chilling out with my new baby, Sirius – the rescue dog from a post or two ago – and watching Sweeney Todd. I’m playing on Pinterest. Really, it’s a big old “I need a fucking break” kind of day.

I’ve had some incredible shoot ideas lately, and making some plans to really get those taking off. For example, I have two tomorrow with the gorgeous on-the-rise model, Little Red. I love that girl to death, and she can pull off any look you need and is always a delight to work with. ❤ Anywho, a cutesy themed shoot followed by what we’re hoping to have turn out to be a very editorial shoot. I shall post pics, never you worry.

Anyway. I’m going back to being busy. Uh, sorta. I’ll be working on the manuscript and it’s desperately needed round of edits I’m behind on. Hopefully, it won’t be too long until I’m posting an excited OMFG I’M PUBLISHED! post. 😀

~Angel