It’s here! It’s finally ready to be purchased!
Producing the End of the World is now live on Kickstarter until December 26th, 2021. At the time I’m writing this, it’s around 36% funded. It won’t come into existence unless it’s fully funded. So if you want to order, click here.
I’ll have more to share soon, I hope.
-Angel
I haven’t posted a Soundtrack of a Misfit post in quite a while, but this one needs to be posted. I heard this for the first time in this new year, and immediately it raised my spirits and made me smile. I knew this song was going to be the anthem for 2015, and that of course I needed to share it.
Here’s some lyrics for you:
“I Lived” by OneRepublic
Hope when you take that jump
You don’t fear the fall
Hope when the water rises
You build a wall
Hope when the crowd screams out
They’re screaming your name
Hope if everybody runs
You choose to stay
Hope that you fall in love
And it hurts so bad
The only way you can know
Is give it all you have
And I hope that you don’t suffer
But take the pain
Hope when the moment comes
You’ll say…
[Chorus]
I, I did it all
I, I did it all
I owned every second
That this world could give
I saw so many places
The things that I did
Yeah, with every broken bone
I swear I lived
[Verse 2]
Hope that you spend your days
But they all add up
And when that sun goes down
Hope you raise your cup
I wish that I could witness
All your joy and all your pain
But until my moment comes
I’ll say…
[Chorus]
I, I did it all
I, I did it all
I owned every second
That this world could give
I saw so many places
The things that I did
Yeah, with every broken bone
I swear I lived
From the viewpoint of a chronically ill person, as well as just how I would prefer to live my life, this song is PERFECT. I’d like to believe this is going to be my anthem for 2015, despite all the changes, or maybe even thanks to all the changes. So I guess we’ll see.
~Angel
So here we go with another lovely little general update about the various projects and things going on:
Writing: I know I need to be working on BM, the current work-in-progress I’ve been trying to get polished for agent querying. But it’s in a state of chaos, since I was working on it before, during, and AFTER the 2012 Sjogren’s flare of Doom. I think that much mixed together honestly really, really intimidates me. That’s a strange way to put it, I guess. But it’s the best way I can describe it. I’m just uncomfortable with so many variations while I’m still struggling to get my groove back.
So, when the uncontrollable urge to start writing again on an old manuscript that I tried to get published in 2008/2009, which we shall refer to here as B.O.E., I gave it some serious thought. Did I really want to ruin a book I adored with my crappy Sjogrens brain? I went ahead and started a read through and realized — Sjogrens or not, I’ve grown as a writer since then. I could see glaring mistakes that I either overlooked or was too afraid to dump. I think, as unusual as it sounds, that working on a rewrite for B.O.E. could actually reboot my brain to pre-Sjogrens Doom Flare. Maybe not everything will work right, and maybe not all the time. But it got some gears turning that had started getting rusty. We’ll see how this works out.
Art: To make up for the fact I haven’t always felt up to my little sketch-a-day plan, I have started working on bigger and more time consuming projects as a way to take regaining my skills to a bigger level. I still want to keep practicing a little sketch every day, but from time to time I don’t mind pumping out some bigger work. Some of which I would really like to try to sell, eventually.
Photography: I haven’t done an actual shoot that I’ve wanted to for some time. I’ve done a few for other people, but none that are actual projects of my own. I have a shoot hopefully on Sunday, so let’s see if that kicks off photo shoot season properly. I’ve had a lot of ideas, and not a lot of time or energy. I have started taking online classes for photography, and probably more subjects soon enough. I’m pretty excited.
Adventures: I’m going through travel withdrawals. I’m staring at my luggage and wishing it was packed up and going with me somewhere. And while I do have at least two trips left this year, that really seems like it isn’t enough. I need to leave. Especially with the fact I’m used to leaving for Orlando in May or June from the last two years. My body is convinced we’re supposed to be leaving. Sorry, body. Not yet.
However, I’m still working hard to save up for my big trip with friends next year. I’m hoping it all works out, we get our ticket and hotel money together, and we can pull this off. *crosses fingers*
Well, that’s about it for now. I’ll have another post about the various other things going on soon enough, and will eventually get around to posting about all the appointments lately. I just haven’t been ready to tackle the health post, yet.
~Angel
I’ve been invited to participate in a blog tour about the writing process. It was started by Maya Rock www.maya-rock.com. I was invited fellow writer and Facebook friend, Megan Bostic http://meganbostic.blogspot.com
1) What am I working on?
Oh, you know. Everything. Anything. Nothing.
Honestly, I’ve been splitting my time between edits on the book I’d like to query – let’s nickname it BM, shall we? – as well as two in-progress stories, one of which isn’t much more than an idea still being fleshed out. I normally prefer to actively work on one at a time, but with my Sjogren’s brain, I can only do so much. It’s all over the place, I’m all over the place. It’s a mess in here. *taps forehead*
I’ve also been trying to have more practice at writing in general, specifically trying to get out of my fictional comfort zone. I took a class last semester called “Creative Nonfiction” which I honestly thought would become my breaking point to make me realize I’m a joke of a writer and should give up while I’m ahead. Turns out, I was wrong, and did fairly well in the class. I ended up passing with Honors, my extra Honors project being paper over Sjogren’s Syndrome and my journey with it. My instructor loved it. I was amazed I made it. But it really gave me a much needed boost. I thrive in classes like that, even when I’m doubting myself.
So, to gain more practice, I’ve been writing for various things. There was, of course, interviews and reviews for A Thousand Lives Reviews. But I haven’t been able to log into that blog for some time now, and that’s a bit disappointing. I’ve also been a Staff Writer for Ax Wound, which is a giant honor to me, and I’m proud of my work there.
And, oddly, if I could get around to having more time for it… I think I’d love getting back into FanFiction.
2)How does my work differ from others of its genre?
This is a weird question to me. Obviously I think it stands out because, well… It’s MINE. My work, my voice, my way of perceiving and regurgitating this grand adventure we call Life. Was that a bit much? Oh well. The point is, what I really see as the difference is that it’s my way of doing things, my voice shouting into the void.
3)Why do I write what I do?
I write what I do because that’s what I like to read about. Mostly, it’s just because some idea pops up in my skull one day, and off I go scribbling things down until there is something worth fleshing out. Sometimes it’s a thought, or an image, or just something playing out in my head like a memory. I write what I do because it’s just what the Muse is throwing at me. She pokes and prods at my brain until I give in and give her what she wants.
But mostly, I write because there is something within me that needs to come out, and so I release it back out into the world with words or paint or photos until I can think clearly again. That’s why I write what I do. That’s why I spent a lot of time writing strictly horror – because I had a festering darkness that needed to come out. Now I just want to prance around La-La Land. And that’s just fine.
4)How does your writing process work?
Oh, you know:
Actually, in all reality, my writing process is simple. I just sit down and let the words come. I’d like to say I have that stereotyped image of me sitting in Starbucks with my laptop, sipping on some coffee and hammering out a bestseller. But that’s not how it works for me because a) I hate coffee, and b) I’m not a Café Writer. Writing is a very solo experience to me. I like to be alone with my headphones on. Usually I write at my desk or at the dining room table. Occasionally, I sit outside on really nice days, especially if I’m working on something that has to do with my characters being outside. I’ve also been known to write at specific tables outside of the college between classes, as well as in the library at one of the private cubicle things.
Wherever I am, I let the words come. If it’s a specific project, I read over where I left off, maybe glance through notes etc. If I’m just free writing for the sake of getting an idea or scene out, I just let whatever needs to be written down come out. I typically work off of paper initially, or at least for a good portion of whatever I’m working on. It’s not too common that I write everything out on a computer. Not that I don’t like to, I just enjoy handwriting everything first for whatever odd reason. I have notebooks upon notebooks of work.
Which leads me to this: I’m a Notebook Writer (there are various types of writers in my mind), which essentially means I carry a notebook everywhere at all times, or at least make sure I have a pen. For example, the instance of being so inspired in New Orleans, I was scribbling thoughts on top of a pizza box as I walked down Royal street. Wherever I travel, I take a notebook of some form with me. I keep a notebook in my purse at all times, to fill with quotes or dialogue or ideas or whatever I need to jot down.
But it’s all part of my process as a writer. Mainly, I’m a slave to the ideas and the muse. I’m also a big fan of music while I write. I especially like making soundtracks based off of music that I feel matches the overall theme or even some specific scenes for whatever I’m writing.
So, there you have it – My Writing Process. Now, here’s where I’m SUPPOSED to tag someone else. I tagged my friend Alesha, but I don’t know that she’ll have time to post one… so, we shall see. Otherwise, I’m a partial failure. 😀
~Angel
Note: I found this on Tumblr, and I’m not sure of the artist 😦 But I do not claim this as my own art. If I find the artists name, I will give credit.
I like to imagine that my muse looks like all of the fan art versions of Notebook from Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared.
Anyway,
So here I am, sitting around with stress and excitement and I’m just about to burst at the seams. Lots going on and so much positive to focus on that the stress of it all almost doesn’t matter. Almost. Because, you know, stress matters since it takes a lot out of you. And mine is taking a lot out of me, usually more than I have to give it.
But that isn’t what matters.
What matters is that I feel better. Obviously, not health better. But mentally and emotionally, I feel like I can handle this. I feel like I’m finally taking chunks of my life back and making my life everything that it can be.
And why, you may ask? What all do I have going on to be so positive about?
I’ll tell you:
First things first: I’m proud of myself for bringing my creative needs back to the Priority List. I mean, I’m not writing every single day, or selling books, or painting gorgeous pieces, or submitting more photos to magazines… But I am drawing. I am writing. I am working on this site. I am (slowly) booking shoots again. It’s more than just whining about needing to do these things. Instead, I am. It’s just baby steps for now.
Except, I should have a shiny new in-print article in my hot little hands before long. I’ll definitely post links and pictures and everything once it’s out. XD
Let’s see, what else is there….
Oh, yes – travel plans!
While I do have plans for a trip to Chicago, as well as a quick trip or two to Orlando this year, I have a bigger and better one brewing for Orlando next November (2015) with my beloved friends. And while I’m already incredibly excited… As you can see:
I’m also using this as motivation for other things in my life. For example, I’m determined to pay down a bunch of bills (medical bills = evil beasties), and make my body healthier. And by healthier, I mean not only thinner and more toned, but actually HEALTHIER. There isn’t much I can do to slow down the Sjogrens, but I can still try to baby my body into maybe calming down naturally. We shall see.
And one more thing:
I am hosting something incredible, and I still can’t believe I’m this lucky. I’m hosting an event May 1st at 6:30pm, at AMC Theater Farmington, MO to raise money for the Muscular Dystrophy Association. Through the creators of the documentary Legends of the Knight, the people of Tugg.com, and AMC, we are holding a one night only screening of the movie Legends of the Knight, an inspirational documentary about Batman and the way he has touched peoples lives and inspired them to do better things. I’m doing all of this in memory of my friend, Eric, who passed away from complications with his Muscular Dystrophy in 2005 when we were both just 14 years old. To be able to hold the event, the theater has said we must sell out the 67 ticket threshold online to make it happen. Tickets go on sale March 29th.
For one night, we can all feel like Bruce Wayne and give a little back to the community.
To buy tickets, or check out more info, go here. You can check out more info at their site, http://www.WEareBATMAN.com
So that’s it for now! Stay tuned, folks. I’ve got a few more things up my sleeve. Life is getting interesting.
~Angel
My health has been a bit… questionable the past several months, with 2014 deciding to be especially brutal for me. I haven’t been too well to post much, especially about what all was going on, until just the last little bit. So here I sit, ready to spill my guts about all the health type things. Bad before the good, right?
Well, I was sick for a bit in early January with some sort of upper respiratory infection that left me miserable and hardly functioning for a week. That was bad enough. But not long after that, I believe January 18th, I woke up with some unpleasant lower back pain. It wasn’t comfortable, but I dealt with it all day. The next morning I felt fine for a while, but by that night, I was screaming in my mom’s bathroom floor, convinced I was dying. I am not one to go to the ER for just anything – I literally have to be convinced I’m going to die. The only other time I had been, I was still refusing to go. But this instant? I was begging for my mom to take me. I couldn’t find a comfortable position, and was vomiting. I was sure that my organs were shutting down and I wouldn’t even live long enough to make it to the hospital.
The nurses in the ER hooked me up to an IV and started some fluids, anti-nausea medication, and a pain killer. They took a urine specimen, blood, and sent me for a CT. To my surprise, the doctor said I had a 
tiny kidney stone that would pass on it’s own. I felt ridiculous, but also relieved. The nurse, however, when getting ready to discharge me, mentioned something else – a left ovarian mass. The doctor had forgotten that part. He prescribed me an antibiotic and Tylenol and sent me on my way.
A day or two later, a nurse from the ER called me. She insisted I see a Urologist about my kidney stone and follow up with my doctor about my ovarian mass so I could get an MRI. This phone call really bothered me, so we had them send my CT report to work. Sure enough, there was a big ol’ spot on my left ovary. And something that bothered me just as much – especially since I was still having pain where my stone was… Not only was my kidney stone bigger than the ER doctor said,
It was stuck.
The technical way we could phrase that is an obstructing kidney stone that caused a small rupture. Yup. It said rupture. In other words, I had some leaking fluid coming out because my kidney is a spoiled brat.
Later that week, we did get the MRI done for the sake of my ovary, which showed it was slightly larger even and appeared cystic. Then we did an ultrasound to check on my kidney stone – my kidney was still swollen, which meant I likely still had it stuck. The next week, I went to see a Urologist.
I was hoping for some magical pill or treatment procedure that did not involve scaring me senseless. Unfortunately for me, the doctor said I needed to have a procedure done the following week. The whole shebang – putting me to sleep, going in and using a laser to remove the stone, then putting a stent in for a week. Since I’ve never had a procedure in which I needed to be admitted and have something put into my body while I’m unconscious, I was pretty nervous.
And I can assure you, the stent was NOT MY FRIEND.
I spent a week and two days with pain and constant discomfort before we could remove it, which meant I had to undergo the same admission process and go back to sleep, the whole nine yards, just to take it out. But I was completely ready and willing to have that thing removed. Ick.
Anyway, I have a Urology follow up Monday and meet my new Rheumatologist Wednesday, so expect another health related post in the near future.
~Angel
This is one of the most incredibly true things I’ve ever read when it comes to depression.
This is the hardest blog I’ve ever attempted to write.
For the better part of eight months, I have been struggling under the thumb of a rather intense depression. This is a monster I’ve battled many times in my life; it is not new. Yet, this has been a particularly brutal one, and I’m not out of the woods yet.
As a writer, I try to write about everything. But it’s hard to write about depression. For one, there’s the fear that the minute you say, “I’m suffering from depression,” people will look at you funny. That they will nod at you with wincing, constipated face, place a hand on your arm and say, with all good intent, “How are you?” And your pain will war with your desire to be “normal” and not looked at funny by sympathetic people at parties. So you will answer, “Fine, thanks” while you’ll…
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“Little Red” – aka Skylar Wendell – is much more than just a pretty face. She’s still in the early stages of her modeling career, but with nearly five years of experience under her belt, she’s off to a decent start. Now she’s been a model for several designers – in fashion shows and online, as well as being featured on a flyer for Women in Horror Month 2011 – which debuted both online and in print. She even has her very first magazine appearance coming up.
Little Red is incredibly talented for her age, and definitely an on-the-rise model. She can pull off any look – from something sweet and dainty, to something alternative and edgy, to retro pin-up, and our favorite – drop dead gore-geous horror model. And while becoming a model had always been an aspiration of hers, she’d never really thought much about seriously doing it – until her friend, and aspiring photographer as well at the time, needed a model and requested Little Red’s help.
Now, I’ve moved on to some bigger and better shoots, and worked with some pretty talented people from all over, but some favorite pictures have always been delivered by Little Red. People love that she offers something new and different, but still incredibly beautiful at the same time.
Now… How did she end up settling on the modeling name, “Little Red”?
Back in May 2011, we did a shoot with the stunning Daisy Von Doom, in which the girls modeled together at some kick-ass locations. Skylar was wearing an insanely awesome ring leader costume, which was bright red, as well as rocking some red striped tights and red makeup. Her nicknames on set for the day involved many variations using “red” as a theme, but “Little Red” reoccured a few times. After the pictures hit the internet, people began calling her Little Red. She liked the name and let it stick to her.
So, what’s next for Little Red?
With lots of changes going on in her real life, shooting has been a little slow lately, but that will pick up again soon enough. Not only has she become a main model for Way 52 and for jewelry designer Atlantis Found Jewelry, she’s working on some new projects to expand her modeling reach even further and combine it with other passions. So she’s definitely a woman to keep an eye out for!
You can find her on Facebook here.
~Angel
I’ve always been a weird child. I cut teeth on vampire movies, carried around a Wolfman doll I treasured (appropriately named ‘Wolfy’), and made ‘potions’ in the front yard when our new neighbors were moving in next door. The Universal Monsters have always been near and dear to my heart, and set a solid foundation for my love of the horror genre. But a big influence on my childhood and the girl I grew up to be were a handful of women, characters you could call them even, that my mother introduced me to at various points. I’d like to share the top five with you, starting with an honorable mention (aka, I snuck in a sixth person. Ha!)
Honorable Mention: Vampira
Although she didn’t quite make Top 5, she did deserve to be mentioned on here somewhere for being a role model for Little Angel.
5.) Morticia Addams
I alway wanted to be like Morticia…A true matriarch of her family, but also a little peculiar, but fiercely loyal & protective of her family & most of all she allowed her children to explore all kinds of ideas and curiosities so they could discover who they were and where they wanted to go. And all the while she remained supportive & available if any of her children needed her guidance. What a Mom! What a role model.
4.) Lily Munster
Pretty much what I said about Morticia. I looked up to and absolutely adored Lily Munster. She was so beautiful, and her hair was to die for. She’ll always be my hero.
3.) Wednesday Addams
This pretty much sums it up:
Morticia: Wednesday’s at that very special age when a girl has only one thing on her mind.
Ellen: Boys?
Wednesday: Homicide.
2.) Bride of Frankenstein
One of the most beautiful women, most tragic stories, most influential in imagery to my young mind… Just.. Yes. Frankenstein was one of my favorites (I adored the Universal Monsters, remember?), and when I saw Bride of Frankenstein… whoa buddy. I was in love. Definitely a role model to me, even to this day.
1.) Elvira
Mistress of the Dark. The Queen of Halloween. And one of the sweetest women I’ve ever met – Cassandra Peterson, aka Elvira.
My mom has adored Elvira for longer than I’ve been alive, and was cosplaying her before that was really a thing:
That isn’t the best picture I’ve ever seen of my mom in her Elvira dress, it was just the only one I knew where it was at right now haha. But this was taken before I was born I believe. You could say, I was born to be the Queen of Halloween. Well, I guess I was technically a Princess. You get my point.
Anyway, my mother and I did get to meet Elvira, and it was pretty much one of the best mother-daughter moments we could’ve had. I wish I had the photo of the three of us scanned in. I do, however, have this:
I’m hoping to have a few more Women in Horror related posts for you before February is out. I’ve had a lot of health issues plus a trip to New Orleans to contend with, and I’m actually between procedures right now (had one on Tuesday, and due for another Thursday. Oh boy.)
Stay tuned, misfits.
~Angel
Misadventures of a Misfit 