Posts Tagged ‘spiderman’

It’s time to revisit the Black Widow “Avengers” quote I posted a year or two back:

“I’ve got red on my ledger. I’d like to wipe it out.”

BW

I don’t think I fully conveyed what I wanted to get across in the original post I made in regard to this quote. And since I see that post still gets quite a few views, I thought I should define it a little better.

There are things in my life that I feel like I owe. Things I feel like I am responsible for with my life. This could easily go back to the infamous Spider-Man quote:

 “With great power comes great responsibility.”

In my world, these two quotes go very well together.

I feel like an incredibly guilty person. There are things I have done and regret. There are things I feel like I owe the universe in return for everything I have received and don’t feel like I entirely deserve.

But one of the biggest things that haunts me is when someone dies. A friend, a child, a good person. Suddenly a life is gone from this world, a light blown out, and somehow that makes me even more aware of my own life and what is being done with it.

And then I become Angel. the Girl Who Wants to Save the World.

I become the girl who does random acts of kindness, not to earn religious brownie points, not to ‘look good’, not for any reason other than I know it’s good and I need more good things in my life, because they make me happy. Helping other people just honestly makes me happy. It makes me feel like my existence isn’t a waste of air.

My ledger is gushing red still, but I use these good things to help wipe it out in my own mind.

Because in my mind, I don’t deserve to be alive. Not compared to some of these people that have died.

I have to live the best life I can. I have to travel and love and live, I have to put more good out into the world. For them. For all of the lives that ended too soon.

So, I try to brighten the days of others. I try to make people laugh when they want to cry. I try to show people an alternative to just the mundane routine, or to the destructive lifestyles. I try to inspire. I try to donate where I can, or raise money. I try to support the dreams of others, because we all seem to die the moment our dreams do. I try to give, big things and little things. Because not everyone has the same opportunities that I have had. But that doesn’t mean I don’t have the power to help them get those same chances.

I have a great power, and I am responsible for making the most of it. And I am. I will continue to do so.

I know this is a weird post, but I feel like I needed an adequate follow-up to the first “Red on my ledger” post.

~Angel

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So here we go with another lovely little general update about the various projects and things going on:

Writing: I know I need to be working on BM, the current work-in-progress I’ve been trying to get polished for agent querying. But it’s in a state of chaos, since I was working on it before, during, and AFTER the 2012 Sjogren’s flare of Doom. I think that much mixed together honestly really, really intimidates me. That’s a strange way to put it, I guess. But it’s the best way I can describe it. I’m just uncomfortable with so many variations while I’m still struggling to get my groove back.

MassiveInsecurity

So, when the uncontrollable urge to start writing again on an old manuscript that I tried to get published in 2008/2009, which we shall refer to here as B.O.E., I gave it some serious thought. Did I really want to ruin a book I adored with my crappy Sjogrens brain? I went ahead and started a read through and realized — Sjogrens or not, I’ve grown as a writer since then. I could see glaring mistakes that I either overlooked or was too afraid to dump. I think, as unusual as it sounds, that working on a rewrite for B.O.E. could actually reboot my brain to pre-Sjogrens Doom Flare. Maybe not everything will work right, and maybe not all the time. But it got some gears turning that had started getting rusty. We’ll see how this works out.

Art: To make up for the fact I haven’t always felt up to my little sketch-a-day plan, I have started working on bigger and more time consuming projects as a way to take regaining my skills to a bigger level. I still want to keep practicing a little sketch every day, but from time to time I don’t mind pumping out some bigger work. Some of which I would really like to try to sell, eventually.

Photography: I haven’t done an actual shoot that I’ve wanted to for some time. I’ve done a few for other people, but none that are actual projects of my own. I have a shoot hopefully on Sunday, so let’s see if that kicks off photo shoot season properly. I’ve had a lot of ideas, and not a lot of time or energy. I have started taking online classes for photography, and probably more subjects soon enough. I’m pretty excited.

Adventures: I’m going through travel withdrawals. I’m staring at my luggage and wishing it was packed up and going with me somewhere. And while I do have at least two trips left this year, that really seems like it isn’t enough. I need to leave. Especially with the fact I’m used to leaving for Orlando in May or June from the last two years. My body is convinced we’re supposed to be leaving. Sorry, body. Not yet.

However, I’m still working hard to save up for my big trip with friends next year. I’m hoping it all works out, we get our ticket and hotel money together, and we can pull this off. *crosses fingers*

 

Well, that’s about it for now. I’ll have another post about the various other things going on soon enough, and will eventually get around to posting about all the appointments lately. I just haven’t been ready to tackle the health post, yet.

~Angel

Basically…

Lou Ferrigno

Lou Ferrigno

Scan0010Boyfriend and I with Jason David Frank, aka Tommy the Green/White Power Ranger.

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Boyfriend and I with the sweetest man EVER, Henry Winkler – aka Fonzie from Happy Days!

My loves! James Marsters and Juliet Landau! Aka Spike and Drusilla from Buffy! Soooo awesome in person!

My loves! James Marsters and Juliet Landau! Aka Spike and Drusilla from Buffy! Soooo awesome in person!

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Excuse the derp face. Tom Felton – aka Draco Malfoy – does that to a gal! TOTAL SWEETHEART!

SO. MUCH. HAPPY.

SO. MUCH. HAPPY.

 

Me and the legend himself - Stan Lee. My hero. :)

Me and the legend himself – Stan Lee. My hero. 🙂

 

So, that basically sums most of it up. Plus A LOT of artwork and Harley Quinn stuff, haha.

But for now, on to other things. Big appointment tomorrow!

~Angel

I HAVE RETURNED, MY LOVELIES! Sorry for my absence, but as you know, I ran away to Orlando for a few days – a MUCH needed vacation that really helped me feel a little better (could be the whole lounging about until 1pm or so before leaving for a couple hours, plus not having any real stress etc to deal with.)

I won’t leave you hanging! I took some pictures, and here’s some great parts of my trip for you:

All packed up to head to the airport.

The hotel I stayed at, The Disney Yacht Club.

My dorky self almost died when I saw Hogwarts. There were several times that I just stopped and stared at it, amazed.

Ate at the Three Broomsticks my first day there AND had my very first (and rather yummy) Butterbeer.

Day two, on a safari ride at Animal Kingdom. There’s nothing between you and the animals. This guy was trying to stick his head in our vehicle.

That evening, we went to Disney Hollywood Studios (aka MGM, but they changed the name it seems since I was last there. Lame.) The Stormtroopers were AMAZING. LET THE DANCING BEGIN!

From Day three, at the Magic Kingdom: My Favorite Disney ride since I was a kiddo – The Haunted Mansion. Rode it three times. 😀

Went back to Universal by day… four I think? Anyway… Beetlejuice AND the classic Universal Monsters?! YES PLEASE!

One of my favorite parts of the trip. The show was great, and the lobby was full of amazingness.

Last place I ate lunch at in Universal, and definitely a favorite. The inside was sectioned into themes based off of awesome old horror movies, and the line to order your food is designed like a mad scientists lab, and there’s busts of Boris Karloff and Bela Lugosi, etc, as their classic monsters on the counter. So. Damn. Amazing. And the bathroom doors – as odd as it is to mention – were really cool. The women’s had the Bride of Frankenstein, and the men’s of course had Frankenstein’s monster.

Last but not least is my faaaavorite ride, The Amazing Adventures of Spiderman. I rode that sucker three times and wish I could’ve gone through more times. A Must-Do if you’re ever in Universal, Orlando’s Island’s of Adventure.

~Angel