Posts Tagged ‘nashville’

“I think I’ll wait another year,
It’ll be the best year ever.”

If you haven’t listened to Amanda Palmer’s “Another Year”, go do it immediately. This song is on to Top 5 list of the soundtrack of my life, I swear.

tolive

Now, I have done many, many things in my life. I’ve worked in a haunted house, and a Halloween costume/supply store. I’ve left the country. Twice. Swam with dolphins. Also twice. I attended a writing conference in New York with Best Selling authors and agents and other passionate writer people like myself, and even read part of a manuscript out loud to two agents (both of which were interested in reading more) – before I started my senior year of High School. I’ve been to Orlando four times. I’ve been to Boston and Salem. I’ve been to Chicago, New Orleans, and Nashville for cons. I’ve been to James Marsters birthday party. Sean Patrick Flanery has called my boyfriend and made me blush, and just been an all around awesome dude to me. David Della Rocco kissed my cheek. I’ve met amazing actors, artists, comedians, authors, etc. I’ve met Stan Lee. Multiple times. I met Robert Englund and cried. I’ve been to Batman Live!, Wicked, Phantom of the Opera, and a variety of other plays and shows. I’ve had VIP passes and been allowed into areas others have dreamed of. I’ve shot fashion shows, had photos and articles published, and occasionally feel like maybe I’m going in the right direction.

And so, so much more. So many people and places I can’t even list them all.

But, I somehow still want more. I have worked myself to death to feel like I’m somewhere, or doing something, and not wasting my life behind a desk at a day job.

It feels like I have been stuck in a state of Almost Something. I have almost been published. Almost graduated with my degree as an Art major. Almost stepped up to the next level in photography. Almost almost almost. But I don’t won’t to fall short anymore. I want to move from Almost Something into Definitely Something.

So, next year, I will try to do more. I will try to top everything I’ve already done, just because I have the drive to do it. I don’t want to live an average life. It will drive me insane. I want to feel like I’ve accomplished things and lived a life I was proud of by the time I’m dead.

I’m working on a list right now of things to do in 2015. Because while 2014 had some very good things, it also had some horrible things. And I want more good days than bad. I’ll post a finished list closer to New Years Eve, but there are some points I will definitely touch on:

I will do something writing related, whether it’s a published novel, or another article. Even a baby step forward is better than a stand still.

I will work on my photography more. Because I miss it. Because I need it. I will do shoots and get my work out there.

I will do something more with my art. It’s improving, though not quite where it was art. I would love to start selling prints and pieces to people.

Travel. Experiences. Health.

There is no point in wasting time, when there are adventures out there waiting for me. I just need to seize the chances I’m presented with.

~Angel

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“Never say ‘no’ to adventures. Always say ‘yes,’ otherwise you’ll lead a very dull life.”

— Ian Fleming

It’s stirring inside of me again. An overwhelming desire to pack up my bags and load the car, head onto the interstate or go to the airport. I need adventure again. I need to wander the streets of New Orleans, entranced by the music at every corner. I need to let go in Salem, dancing at circle on a sabbat with strangers, lost in the incredible connection of energy. I need Boston, out on the boat surrounded by whales. I need Chicago, listening to James Marsters sing before having dinner at his birthday party. I need Orlando, where I can hop on a ride and take on a new life for a few moments. I need to go. I need to see something other than the middle of nowhere.

 I don’t want to have to fight anymore,
I’m tired.
I don’t want to have to feel anymore,
uninspired.

It helps me with so much when I travel. My body may become physically exhausted, but my mind is clear and stress is relieved for oh-so-long while I’m away from my regular life. I feel like writing and creating and just aiming for the stars. I am reminded I can be more, and it wakes the muse inside my head.

So long my flame, my warmth, my fear, my fight,
The road’s calling again tonight.
Dreaming under street lights,
Maybe I’ll catch a train to Rome,
See the world until I can’t go on,
Then maybe I’ll come traveling home.

But sometimes, other people don’t exactly get that. So, again, I’m faced with people telling me I really need to consider my priorities, and buy a house and settle down, an do all of these things I couldn’t just do even if I wasn’t traveling so much. But the people telling me again and again, like they’re scolding a child, that I need to stay put a while don’t understand. I don’t think I’ll ever be happy in one place. Even if it’s just occasionally going to Orlando or something – I need to get away for a bit to function correctly. It seems that is the best medicine for me. It isn’t that I don’t love the people I have here, or anything. I just need a reset on occasion.

‘Cause when the road takes it’s toll
And these cities come and go
Filled with people I don’t know
You’ll be in my heart
And I’ll dream of where you are tonight.

So I’m going through a balancing act: save save save for adventures, and save save save for responsible adult life. And even though that still isn’t enough, at least I feel comfortable knowing I’m trying to manage what I want from my life, and what everyone else expects.

TooMuchToAsk

Maybe I’ll go it all alone
See the world and make my way back home
Or maybe I’ll keep traveling on

Either way, I will keep going. I will write. I will create. I will venture out into the world. I will find a home somewhere, some way, and I will build the life that fits what I need. But I will not give up or give in. I will continue to occasionally pack a suitcase and go somewhere else, even if it’s just a few days.

And if travel is like love, it is, in the end, mostly because it’s a heightened state of awareness, in which we are mindful, receptive, undimmed by familiarity and ready to be transformed. That is why the best trips, like the best love affairs, never really end.

~Angel

 

BoondockSaintsIt’s no secret that my faaaaaaaavorite movie is The Boondock Saints. I’ve written papers on the techniques used in it for my film class, watched it countless numbers of times, and even have some nifty neato stuff like posters, a canvas print, and a fairly badass lamp. Plus shirts. Etc. You get the idea. This is MY movie.

It also just so happens I’ve gotten to meet the three above individuals (my favorite guys in the movie, too): (from left to right) Sean Patrick Flanery, David Della Rocco, and Norman Reedus. Yes, the very same Norman Reedus that plays Daryl on The Walking Dead. I have hugged the Reedus. He has called me Batman. ALL YOUR JEALOUSY IS UNDERSTANDABLE. lol

BEHOLD THE PICTURE TIME:

1451511_10200315001351295_796098530_nSkylar and I are over-eager and entirely too excited about life.

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Skylar and my Spider-Vans.

1186206_640702062659389_129511697_nReedus photobomb.

1378870_10200241347549996_1680746604_nI signed David Della Rocco’s table, and this is what he added to it. 😀

1393529_10200241329149536_533857585_nSelfies with Rocco!

Now, a bit of story time for you. Some of you may know that some… shenanigans took place on this adventure. Shenanigans involving myself and Sean Patrick Flanery:

SeanPatrickFlenery

Here’s the story:

Skylar, my mother, and myself took off into Nashville to meet our boys, the first up of the three being Norman Reedus, because we were terrified of Walking Dead stalker girls. While we were waiting,  I eagerly looked around for Norman. Then, something glorious happened. I looked to my left and saw three very familiar faces. I nudged Skylar, who had taken a seat on the floor. “They just walked in,” I whispered. “Seriously, stand up. It’s the boys.”

Skylar jumped up and looked to where I was pointing. Sure enough, there walked Norman Reedus, accompanied by David Della Rocco and Sean Patrick Flanery. My heart was pounding in my chest. This moment made it all worth it, I knew. All of the stress and drama over coming to Nashville, over going on yet another ridiculous trip, was suddenly justified in my mind.

Norman broke away from his pack and walked up to his table, a mass of fans excited behind us cheering at the sight. Skylar and I were shaking while he talked to us before we came up to his table. “I’m going to pass out,” Skylar said. “I can’t believe this is really about to happen – are you seriously staring at Sean Patrick Flanery right now?”

I turned back to Skylar, only slightly embarrassed I had been caught, before returning my attention to Norman Reedus.

I walked up to him first while Skylar tried to compose herself. “Hey, I’m Norman,” he said, shaking my hand.

“I’m Angel,” I said, placing a still shot photo of his character in front of him, followed by a small movie poster.

“It’s very nice to meet you, Angel,” he said. He reached for a sharpie while I reached into my pocket.

“I actually saw you briefly in Chicago, but I didn’t make it up to your table,” I said, sitting a neon green piece of foam shaped like a circle in front of him. “You actually shot me with this.”

To the left, the ammo Skylar was shot with by David Della Rocco. To the right, the ammo Norman Reedus shot me with.

To the left, the ammo Skylar was shot with by David Della Rocco. To the right, the ammo Norman Reedus shot me with.

“Oh yeah! I remember that Nerf gun.” He picked up the ammo off the table. “That’s awesome that you kept it.”

“Not everyone can say Norman Reedus shot them, now I have proof.” We both laughed while he signed my stuff for me. Before I stepped away, he hugged me, and fan girls behind me had a meltdown. I moved out of the way so Skylar could go up to him. She was too nervous to do much other than squeak her name out for him.

“That’s a beautiful name,” he said to her. “I’ve never heard Skylar before.”

When we were walking away, Skylar was shaking. “Norman Reedus just said I had a pretty name.” I patted her on the back and directed her toward Sean Patrick Flanery.

Let me just throw this out there now: I have had a ridiculous crush on this man for more years than I can remember. I didn’t go psycho crazy stalker girl on him or anything, but I could readily admit he was my Hollywood Heartthrob. My heart was ready to explode out of my chest and bounce off the walls from excitement.

When I finally made my way up to him, he shook my hand, and my brain instantly went into ridiculous babble mode. “Hey, I’m Sean.”

“I’m Angel, and this is the greatest moment of my life,” I said. I tried to make it sound a little less creepy by laughing afterwards, but mostly I just tried to keep from staring at his chest.

“Angel, that’s a beautiful name,” he said. “Have you ever heard the song Angel by Jimi Hendrix?”

“I’m not sure,” I said.

“How’re you not sure?” he said, smiling at me.

“Do you realize how many songs have my name in it?” I said. “And how many people show me songs because they have my name in them?”

He laughed and looked down at the photo in front of him. He wrote:sean (1280x1022)

“To Angel:

Angel came down from Heaven yesterday, stayed with me just long enough to rescue me.”

He held the picture up in front of me, “This is the first verse in the song, and my favorite part. It’s a great fucking song. You need to listen to it, alright? Tonight.” I promised him I would. Moments later, we were hugging, and his assistant was taking our picture together, before he generically signed Skylar’s photo.

“He ignored me because he was so focused on you,” Skylar said as we walked up to David Della Rocco.

“I can die happy now,” I said, admiring my picture.

We spent several minutes just talking to David Della Rocco, taking pictures and laughing, before I took Skylar over to wait for Stan Lee. While she stood in her line, I made my way to find my mother, still in the insanity of Norman Reedus fans. By the time she made it out to me, I was eager to see Sean Patrick Flanery again. I grabbed my mother, and toward his table we went.

I’m still sort of lost in the chaos of what happened, because somehow, before I could really grasp what was going on, Sean Patrick Flanery had my phone. That was the only thought I could process at first: Sean Patrick Flanery is using my cellphone. Then it occurred to me what he was saying to me, and who he was calling. “Taylor, right?” he said. “That’s your boyfriend’s name?” I nodded, smiling like the dumbstruck fan girl I was.

Somebody else snagged a photo, not me. I was waaay too busy laughing.

Somebody else snagged a photo, not me. I was waaay too busy laughing.

And then, I could hear him talking to Taylor. On my phone. He was calling my boyfriend, on my phone, and using his Irish accent he used when he played Connor MacManus. With my mother standing beside me, he was yelling at my boyfriend as his character, and saying an embarrassing amount of dirty things he had done and was planning to do with me since my boyfriend let me go off to con alone. Then, he hung up.

Everyone around us was laughing hysterically, and I was blushing brighter than I ever have. Just as Sean moved to hand me my phone back, the screen lit up: Incoming Call. Taylor.

We both dove for the phone, accepting the call in the process, before I finally retrieved my phone and ended the call. “I was going to answer that! It was for me,” Sean said, his grin mischievous. Lost in my girlish crush overload, I finished our conversation up before moving away to call my boyfriend back.

I started out this phone call laughing, still thoroughly entertained by the moment that I just had. But my boyfriend wasn’t as amused, and before I knew it, we were fighting, and my mood was ruined. Somehow, I had reversed the entire purpose of my trip. I went from radiating happiness, to hitting such a low; I only wanted to go back to the hotel.

I perked up long enough that, when I saw the boys a little later for our group photo of myself with Sean, Norman, and David, we all had the chance to joke around about my phone call. The photographer had to get us to settle down, and even moments after we were still goofing off. Sean leaned into my ear before I walked away and said, “I still don’t regret it.”

I told him I didn’t regret it, either.

theboys (1280x935)1375873_10200241607716500_492080940_n

The next day, we stopped by the con to say farewell to our new friends. I was long over my bad mood, and accepted that not everyone could say their boyfriend had a personal issue with Sean Patrick Flanery. I downloaded “Angel” onto my iPod and talked to Sean about how much I adored his recommendation. Finally, we started our drive back to reality.

For six hours, I babbled about my Best Weekend Ever, and kept telling my mother that next time – because there will always be a next time – I would be thinner, and it would be better. These were my boys, and I missed them dearly already. I turned the radio up every time my music shuffled back to “Angel”:

And then she spread her wings high over me. She said she’s gonna come back tomorrow.”

At least I got a fancy new Boondock Saints shirt, which was too small when I bought it, but I’ve been motivated to get skinny since then and it now fits 😉

countmeamongthysaintsWhen I raise my flashing sword, and my hand takes hold on judgment, I will take vengeance upon mine enemies, and I will repay those who hate me. Oh, Lord, raise me to Thy right hand and count me among Thy saints.”

So, there you have it ladies and germs. The trip of crazy wonderful-ness. I wish I could explain it better, but it was one of those You Had To Be There to completely relate lol. Anywho, until next time!

~Angel