Posts Tagged ‘photographer life’

“In the face of such hopelessness as our eventual, unavoidable death, there is little sense in not at least trying to accomplish all of your wildest dreams in life.” – Kevin Smith, Tough Sh*t: Life Advice From a Fat, Lazy Slob Who Did Good.

kevinsmith

All week, I’ve devoted time when I get home to writing. I had a migraine, and still made myself power through outlining three chapters. The next night, after finishing my taxes, despite having another migraine, I started writing a few pages of a chapter. Not the word counts I need to have if I want to do this for a living, I know. But the point is that I’m making a routine for myself again, despite what my body wants me to do.

Why have I been so determined, even when I have been in rough shape the last several weeks?

I have been wanting to read Kevin Smith’s memoir for a little while now, and after meeting him in Reno, it’s become a mission I have been set on. Finally, I got my (signed) copy and dove right in. That’s where I found the quote above. And it hit me. I met him during a very bad disease flare. I finally got his book, and was reading this quote, during ANOTHER bad disease flare. It resonated with me. The more I thought on it, the more I read it, the more it became something I felt I needed to read.

It isn’t as though I haven’t had similar bursts of motivation, or even inspiration based on a similar concept. But it’s the fact that someone I admired so much, that brought so much happiness when I was so miserable, had written this quote, and I had read it while yet again miserable…

It sparked the motivation I needed.

I will die. Everyone does. And what scares me more than the idea of dying, is feeling like I’ve wasted life and talent and drive. I can BE the person I want to be. I just have to DO IT.

So I’ve been writing, and keeping up with Wandering NerdGirl, and trying revive Hail to the Geek, Baby (which I haven’t had time to post on in FOREVER), and rebuilding my photography portfolio to take it in a direction I’d like it to be in. I’m working on cutting out soda again (UGH) and eating healthier options so my body is treated better. I’ve been working on myself and working at my dreams. And it feels pretty damn good.

Speaking of taking pictures for my portfolio…:

Some pictures my best friend, Brittaney, and I took the weekend before.

So, yeah. I’m doing things. And stuff. And trying to get somewhere again. Because I’m tired of talking about things and not doing enough of them. Health and depression can back off. It’s time for me to everything I can, while I can.

~Angel

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daydreamSo, here it is:

Less than two weeks until I say goodbye to my day job.

Less that two weeks until my health, my friends, and my passions take priority again.

Less than two weeks until I’m writing books, working on photo shoots, doing new artwork.

Less than two weeks until days that I can relax if I don’t feel well and catch up on my DVR.

Less than two weeks until I can take up old hobbies again, like when I used to be an amateur magician. I know that sounds a little weird, but hey – I miss it.

Less than two weeks until I can figure out what I want to do for college.

If you want to summarize all that: Two weeks until I have my life back.

“Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I’m through with playing by
The rules of someone else’s game
Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It’s time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes
And leap”

Am I scared? Of course I am. Not having steady income is terrifying. But I’m driven by something that scares me even more – giving up on my dreams. I’ve been pushing everything that was important to me to the backburner for far too long, and I was growing comfortable with the idea of settling into a normal life. Not because it was what I wanted, but rather because it was what seemed easier. Maybe everyone is right, I would think. Maybe it’s time to grow up and accept that this dream will stay just that – a dream. And that isn’t like me. That SCARES me. If I want something, I go after it. It’s that simple.

But, I’ve got my manuscript revision finished and ready for Beta Readers and the final round(s) of editing to make it all polished and shiny. I’m booking shoots like you wouldn’t believe: some paying work, some portfolio updates, and some for designers. Not to mention finally getting back to my artwork properly, and having time for my friends again.

It also royally sucks that the coworkers I do like won’t be around every day. I know we can still get together and see each other if we want to, but it’s going to be weird not seeing each other every day like we do now. But I couldn’t stay forever, so this was bound to happen.

But at least, in the world of my art stuff, this happened:

camrenselinakyle

Camren Bicondova, the talented gal that plays a young Selina Kyle (aka Catwoman) in the Fox TV series Gotham, LIKED THIS PHOTO OF HER I DID! I know, in the grand scheme of things, this can’t go on a resume or really much of anything. But HOLY FANGIRL MOMENT, BATMAN! SHE LIKED IT!

 

Anyway, that’s it for now. More soon!

~Angel

“I think I’ll wait another year,
It’ll be the best year ever.”

If you haven’t listened to Amanda Palmer’s “Another Year”, go do it immediately. This song is on to Top 5 list of the soundtrack of my life, I swear.

tolive

Now, I have done many, many things in my life. I’ve worked in a haunted house, and a Halloween costume/supply store. I’ve left the country. Twice. Swam with dolphins. Also twice. I attended a writing conference in New York with Best Selling authors and agents and other passionate writer people like myself, and even read part of a manuscript out loud to two agents (both of which were interested in reading more) – before I started my senior year of High School. I’ve been to Orlando four times. I’ve been to Boston and Salem. I’ve been to Chicago, New Orleans, and Nashville for cons. I’ve been to James Marsters birthday party. Sean Patrick Flanery has called my boyfriend and made me blush, and just been an all around awesome dude to me. David Della Rocco kissed my cheek. I’ve met amazing actors, artists, comedians, authors, etc. I’ve met Stan Lee. Multiple times. I met Robert Englund and cried. I’ve been to Batman Live!, Wicked, Phantom of the Opera, and a variety of other plays and shows. I’ve had VIP passes and been allowed into areas others have dreamed of. I’ve shot fashion shows, had photos and articles published, and occasionally feel like maybe I’m going in the right direction.

And so, so much more. So many people and places I can’t even list them all.

But, I somehow still want more. I have worked myself to death to feel like I’m somewhere, or doing something, and not wasting my life behind a desk at a day job.

It feels like I have been stuck in a state of Almost Something. I have almost been published. Almost graduated with my degree as an Art major. Almost stepped up to the next level in photography. Almost almost almost. But I don’t won’t to fall short anymore. I want to move from Almost Something into Definitely Something.

So, next year, I will try to do more. I will try to top everything I’ve already done, just because I have the drive to do it. I don’t want to live an average life. It will drive me insane. I want to feel like I’ve accomplished things and lived a life I was proud of by the time I’m dead.

I’m working on a list right now of things to do in 2015. Because while 2014 had some very good things, it also had some horrible things. And I want more good days than bad. I’ll post a finished list closer to New Years Eve, but there are some points I will definitely touch on:

I will do something writing related, whether it’s a published novel, or another article. Even a baby step forward is better than a stand still.

I will work on my photography more. Because I miss it. Because I need it. I will do shoots and get my work out there.

I will do something more with my art. It’s improving, though not quite where it was art. I would love to start selling prints and pieces to people.

Travel. Experiences. Health.

There is no point in wasting time, when there are adventures out there waiting for me. I just need to seize the chances I’m presented with.

~Angel

I used to do posts once upon a time on my old blog, in which I would sum up several different updates to do with my artistic MoreIdeasThanTimeendeavors like writing, art, photography, etc. Break it down by category and let everyone know what was going on with different projects, and so on. You know, talk about the things I’m actually doing as opposed to what I usually do, which is ramble about random things. I figured I could start doing this every so often to keep everyone up to date with everything going on, especially if there was anything truly noteworthy.

Writing: When it comes to writing, I’ve been a bit of a slacker lately. Not by my own choice, mind you. Mostly time constraints, health, and a billion other things. But I’ve been scribbling what I can when I can (and where I can, since I had a muse whispering to me on the streets of New Orleans and all I had to write on was a pizza box as I walked to my hotel.)

I have a million ideas buzzing in my head and a very determined muse that wants me to be writing. In case you couldn’t guess, this is part of why you’re getting more posts lately: I want to be writing. Something. Anything. Blog posts are decent practice, a way of keeping myself used to the act of writing, but are also simple enough that I can save a draft and work on it whenever I have a chance to. Besides, I can scribble parts of this on notes and just fill it into the blog post later in the day. Then, I can either post as soon as I’m finished, or schedule it to post later on whenever I want. Tah-Dah! New posts for you guys, more practice for me.

But besides that, I do always keep a notebook on hand to scribble thoughts and ideas, diaglogue, freewriting, continue on current projects, etc. Inspirational stuff like quotes, song lyrics, and that sort of thing. Anything and everything that could be useful to my writing. I just haven’t had much time to do solid, meaningful writing. Well, maybe meaningful isn’t the best word. Just writing that amounts to much of anything.

Art: I’ve made it a point to keep myself drawing regularly since December. I hoped to do at least a little sketching every day, but occasionally something else gets in the way – work on projects that take more than one day of work, my head pounding so hard I can’t keep my eyes open, or sometimes I get so drawn into something I’m reading that literally all spare moments MUST be dedicated to the reading of whatever book. (I’ll get to what I’ve been reading in just a bit.)

I’ve been dabbling a bit in digital art lately, mostly using Sketchbook Pro. Definitely different than what I’m used to, but I’m getting better at it. I’ve worked on my nifty little self portrait and a few other projects, some just for me to practice, others by request. I’m currently slaving over a project for a local band that I really hope turns out looking awesome. I’ll link to that whenever it’s finished.

I’m also really, REALLY feeling the itch to pick up a paintbrush again. Someone asked me what I would be doing if I could be doing anything at that particular moment, and without hesitation I replied: I wish I was painting and listening to music. I used to do that all the time, and it really relaxed me. I honestly miss it like crazy. Hopefully soon I’ll be able to fit in some canvas time.

Reading: I might as well transition to what I’ve been reading, since I was mentioning it above. Obviously, I have my 2014 Bookworm Challenge up there on the left hand side of this page. That’s where you can go to regularly check what I’ve read/been reading this year. I doubt I will post about EVERY SINGLE BOOK because everyone, including myself, would grow tired of it. This isn’t just a review blog. I’ve got stuffs to talk about here!

But I will take a moment to mention the Divergent books, which have been the reason I have gotten very little drawing done. It’s sort of weird to me, because it’s not like it’s the most incredible thing I’ve ever read – not saying I don’t thoroughly enjoy it, because I do. But I just HAD TO finish it. And then just HAD TO have Insurgent. Because I did. Which is a good thing to accomplish as a writer, I would say. Because I went to the store and bought the rest of the trilogy as soon as I was finished. I’m definitely looking forward to the movie.

Photography: Finding time for photography is a little rough, but not altogether an impossible task. I can get the occasional shoot together if I have to, but mostly it’s a matter of my work schedule not being too friendly or my body not being up to the task from exhaustion. But that doesn’t change my desire to shoot or drive to create new and beautiful things. I’ve been planning out some shoots to work on as soon as my schedule, weather, and body all decide to get along with one another. I’ll post some links and pictures whenever I get more shoots done.

 

Overall, I’m a girl of true grit, one not only chasing her dreams, but willing to corner said dreams in an alley and beat them into submission. I will make something of myself. Even if it kills me. Which I wouldn’t doubt happening at this point. Ha.

Well there you have it. My first little project update type dealio for 2014. Hopefully these will get better and more exciting as the year goes on. I’ll throw some travel in here every so often as well. I do owe you guys a New Orleans post, anyway.

~Angel