“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson
There will be days we all feel like we are at our limits. We feel like we are giving 120% and that it just isn’t enough. There are days we all want to curl up on the floor and scream, “I GIVE UP!”
Yeah. Well. Yesterday was a day that had me fighting that urge to curl up on the floor and quit. Actually, more like this past week. It happens. Sometimes, more often than I would like. Sometimes I get to have a good day, and before I know it I’m right back to my breaking point. I’m being pulled a million directions and coming up more lost than I’ve ever been.
I’m making the adjustments that I can: making the best choices for adventures to save myself money, while making sure I still get to do what I was wanting to do; I’m slowly but surely rebuilding my savings account for responsible adult stuff, like getting my own place or a new car, etc. I’m trying to convince myself to not abuse this mind or body, but to instead fully embrace life despite everything else going on.
But I can’t lie – it’s hard. I get discouraged and don’t treat my body like I should. I let my depression get the better of me and start to lose hope on things ever working out.
I’m doing the best I can, though, which is all you can do. I’m making myself read and write when I can. I’m trying to get out in the pool when I can, even if my body is too tired for that nonsense. I’m saving money and planning things and using every distraction in the book to make myself not lose my marbles (or what’s left of them, rather.)
Expect more pleasant updates soon, about things that hopefully do not revolve around my struggles, and instead focus on good things or writing things or anything else really.
~Angel
Misadventures of a Misfit 