Misadventures of a Misfit

PART TWO: A slightly more detailed look at people that need to specifically be mentioned.

• Whitney:

I still can’t accept that you’re really gone. It seems like every day there’s something I want to tell you or talk to you about, and I can’t just text you or come over and see you anymore. You were someone I could talk to about anything for hours. I miss that. I miss going to take pictures or run around at the mall, like that day we went to see the last Saw movie, eat Chinese food, and went shopping. I remember trying on clothes with you and just having a good day, where we didn’t have anything or anyone else to worry about. I treasure the memories of that day as some of the most peaceful ones I have. I miss you. I wish that we could’ve had more days like that before you left this world. You were a beautiful soul, and my rock when I was too scared and weak to go on alone. I love you. Thank you for watching out for me.

• Eric:

It’s a little over two weeks until what should have been your 23rd birthday. I miss you, and it’s hard to believe it’s been 8 and a half years since you died. It still feels like yesterday we were sitting in your room, listening to music and talking, just like we always did. It was a few weeks before you died, and I remember how scared I had felt the 6 months before that – from the moment I found out on Christmas Day, all the way up to that day in June. And I remember leaving, and telling you I loved you and I’d come back soon. But I never did make it back before you died. It haunts me every day. I miss you, I love you, and I couldn’t ask for a better guardian angel. You’re my hero, and where I draw my strength from. I wouldn’t be alive today if it wasn’t for you.

• Sam, Jake, John Ray, and Ryan:

The four of you, as well as Eric, were the most important people in my entire world for so long. And I don’t see any of you as much as you deserve. Sometimes it’s because it’s too hard. It’s a shitty excuse, but that’s how it is. I lost touch with John Ray because it hurt too much after his brother died. He reminded me so much of Eric, and I only ever wanted to tell him that I would willingly trade spots with his brother in a heartbeat if I could. I tried to keep up with the rest of you, and sometimes I do, but mostly we just talk online or text or something. I love you all still, but sometimes I can’t handle it. This is something I’ve realized the last few days. I do want to spend more time with you all, but I need to slow other aspects of my life down first. I’m too drained from work and illness to handle the extra strain on my heart and body. I’m sorry. Someday, it will be better again. Sam, we can go get nachos and mountain dew. Jake, we can hang out and watch movies and just be our old selves. Ryan, we’ll stay up all night on the phone talking about everything and anything. I’ll find John Ray someday and try again, but I’m not sure I’ll ever be strong enough. I love you all, and I don’t want to lose you. Ever.

• Chris, SP, Tori, Kristin, Josh, Kyle, and the ten trillion other friends I miss spending time with…:

I really, really miss you guys.

• Lillie and Dica:

I couldn’t love anyone more than I love these two. My own children will have a hard time living up to them lol.

• Skylar:

My not-really-but-might-as-well-be little sister, my muse, the Charlie to my Patrick. I’m more than happy to have you along on my adventures, big or small. I love you. I’m so glad you’re back from the army because I missed you so much it made me crazy. Good things are ahead for both of us, and you know I will always be right there when you need me. Take the world by storm, kiddo. I wouldn’t expect anything less.

• Brittaney:

Everything I have to say to you, you already know. You’re my best friend, parabatai, the Sam to my Patrick, Luigi to my Mario, Frodo to my Samwise, Ron to my Harry. I love you and our adventures and no matter what happens, I have your back chica.

• Taylor:

My Mr. J, my favorite, my heartbeat.

~Angel