Posts Tagged ‘passion’

Quick little post for you all….:

nerdy

A good percent of the time, I am met with a lot of disrespectful comments because of my tattoos/appearance, general interests, career goals, etc. This is especially frequent in my job. However, after an extremely unpleasant instance of this today, in which you’d think because I have tattoos I kick puppies or something, I ended up having a wonderful conversation with a work associate about our nerdy interests and such, as we normally do, and how I remind her of her daughter and my advice has been awesome and journeys etc. and how she adores the general comradery of most legitimately passionate nerd-folk. We briefly touched on my own appreciation because of instances like earlier, and she agreed it made no sense. We talked about some different things off topic that I am doing or have done of any interest, and she said “Wow. See? You’ve done more and aspire for more than all those people combined, and there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.” I agreed. We also discussed her daughter finally realizing that being a nerd-minded girl wasn’t something to be ashamed of, but rather to embrace.
I told her she was exactly right, because despite the negativity for my tattoos, or the double-standards these days regarding ‘nerds’ (hot people with a nerdy interest being totally cool, but a passionate but supposedly unattractive nerd…. absolute social suicide), and the like… I’d rather be completely true to myself and not compromise for anyone, than to change or suppress who I am because of people that don’t even know me.
This conversation turned my entire day around. NERD PRIDE!

~Angel

“The fire’s only half dead, how many angels can you fit on a match head?”

Trying, trying, trying… Even though everything seems to keep falling apart, even though every time I think I have one problem out of the way, I turn around and have six more problems on top of the previous problems. Mounting stress. Worry, concern, anxiety. Eating me up. Making me nuts. Killing the passion, the drive, the fire that used to burn so bright inside of me. I wish I could just stop and focus again. I used to do so well, used to get so much done. But I never have time to shoot or draw or paint or, most importantly – write. I NEED to write. I need to shoot. I need to focus. But I’ve been working too much, stressing too much, hurting too much..

“I’m feeling like I’m half dead.”

Mysterious Sickness of Doom just won’t go away. I just can’t seem to make myself feel any better, then find out more things are wrong. More procedures, more doctors, more test. I’m tired of it all. I just want to be better again. I want to go home from work and not feel like I’m going to die because my body hurts too much.

“I’d tell you the truth but I don’t wanna upset you friend.
I’d tell you “Go to hell” but Satan wouldn’t let you in.
He’d say that you’re an evil man amongst evil men,
And when you need a friend you can seek him then.”

I’m tired of the bad guy winning lately. Tired of people destroying my chances to move forward. Not just me bitching that someone else is holding me back – I mean LITERALLY, people getting themselves into some huge mess and somehow dragging me into said mess. It’s never ending. And it pulls some domino effect stuff on the rest of my life, leaving me lost on what to do next when I was so sure I had a game plan in mind.

In other news…

My friend Skylar, aka the FABULOUS model Little Red ( Go like her on Facebook!), started living with me this week, and we’re officially moving her stuff tomorrow with the help of our mutual friend (and my bestie) Brittaney – aka other fab model, Daisy Von Doom ( Annnnd go like her on Facebook as well). Also, we’re redoing my bathroom. Well, starting on it at least. So yeah. Shit is craaazy right now.

More news, hopefully less whiney, later.

~Angel