Posts Tagged ‘painting’

As you can tell, my life is usually a big ol’ mess. Nowadays, it’s worse. But whatever. I move on.

I’ve been making sure I take time to write as often as possible. If I’m not working on the manuscript I’m editing, I’m working on this idea that’s been buzzing in my head lately. But at the very least, I’m trying to make sure I get things done I need to do, even if they are the smallest tasks. Baby steps. That’s how I’m going to motivate myself to keep going forward. I can do this. I KNOW it. My dreams aren’t that far out of reach. I’ve just been so exhausted, I haven’t been able to try. But no more excuses. I’m going to go forward. Besides that, writing is my happy place. It’s very soothing, and distracts me from the stress and Mysterious Sickness of Doom.

I picked up some new canvas panels, brush pens, etc in hopes of turning some of my sketches into paintings soon. Updates will be made on a regular basis if and when this begins. Painting is also a good zone-out tool for me, and my ideas are overflowing. 🙂

Also, I have an appointment coming up in February with a specialist that can hopefully help me out with the Mysterious Sickness of Doom. I want some sort of help or treatment, at the very least an answer. Wish me luck. The appointment comes almost exactly on the year anniversary of this whole mess. Ha.

I leave you with this bit of awesomeness, seeing as I’m crazy excited that this is going to be on DVD soon:




“The fire’s only half dead, how many angels can you fit on a match head?”

Trying, trying, trying… Even though everything seems to keep falling apart, even though every time I think I have one problem out of the way, I turn around and have six more problems on top of the previous problems. Mounting stress. Worry, concern, anxiety. Eating me up. Making me nuts. Killing the passion, the drive, the fire that used to burn so bright inside of me. I wish I could just stop and focus again. I used to do so well, used to get so much done. But I never have time to shoot or draw or paint or, most importantly – write. I NEED to write. I need to shoot. I need to focus. But I’ve been working too much, stressing too much, hurting too much..

“I’m feeling like I’m half dead.”

Mysterious Sickness of Doom just won’t go away. I just can’t seem to make myself feel any better, then find out more things are wrong. More procedures, more doctors, more test. I’m tired of it all. I just want to be better again. I want to go home from work and not feel like I’m going to die because my body hurts too much.

“I’d tell you the truth but I don’t wanna upset you friend.
I’d tell you “Go to hell” but Satan wouldn’t let you in.
He’d say that you’re an evil man amongst evil men,
And when you need a friend you can seek him then.”

I’m tired of the bad guy winning lately. Tired of people destroying my chances to move forward. Not just me bitching that someone else is holding me back – I mean LITERALLY, people getting themselves into some huge mess and somehow dragging me into said mess. It’s never ending. And it pulls some domino effect stuff on the rest of my life, leaving me lost on what to do next when I was so sure I had a game plan in mind.

In other news…

My friend Skylar, aka the FABULOUS model Little Red ( Go like her on Facebook!), started living with me this week, and we’re officially moving her stuff tomorrow with the help of our mutual friend (and my bestie) Brittaney – aka other fab model, Daisy Von Doom ( Annnnd go like her on Facebook as well). Also, we’re redoing my bathroom. Well, starting on it at least. So yeah. Shit is craaazy right now.

More news, hopefully less whiney, later.