Posts Tagged ‘neil gaiman’

“When you can’t go forward, and you can’t go backward, and you can’t stay where you are without killing off something deep and vital in yourself, you are on the edge of creation.” Sue Monk Kidd

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Alright. So, I know I’ve said it before – “This is it, I’m leaving my day job” and “90 days left until I can get back to myself.” – yada yada, I know there have been many instances that I’ve said I’m going to give up working a job that makes me miserable and doesn’t benefit me in the long run.

But, well… By the end of February, I will no longer be working at my infamous and stressful day job. The Universe, as mentioned in my last post, came knocking. A serious of strange and in some ways unfortunate events led me to the realization that there are more important things in life than paying bills until I die. I will never, with the hours I work and amount of other things I have to worry about, get a book ready to be sent off. The odds are against me there.

Until now.

“I believe ardently that you should drop everything and run toward your true self.” -Kyran Pittman

Now I can focus on my health for a bit. I can devote hours to writing and editing and hunting for the perfect agent. I can work on my art and photography and just try, in general, to improve my chaotic little world. I’m not quitting the day job scene for good, just a little while until I can get back to feeling like myself.

Because obviously, bills don’t pay themselves, and won’t magically disappear just because I don’t have steady income. But this wasn’t a spur of the moment decision, and it wasn’t something I just came up with.

Like I said, the Universe came knocking on my door, and said it was time for me to go. In other words, they’re closing down where I work, and not everyone gets to keep their job. So, I might as well work until they’re closed, then let someone else have a position, and I can write and whatnot for a bit.

When faced with the decision – fight for a job I don’t want, or let someone who really needs the money have it… well, it was time to take my bow.

It’s time I put some serious work into my writing, and really get somewhere.

 “Try to make your time matter: minutes and hours and days and weeks can blow away like dead leaves, with nothing to show but time you spent not quite ever doing things, or time you spent waiting to begin.” – Neil Gaiman (Read more here)

So there you have it. Of course I’m scared, because I’m human, and I’ve grown attached to the idea of having money appear in my bank account every two weeks, and going on adventures, and doing what I please. But I’m also very, very excited, because this is a brand new year, and I can maybe use it to become the person I haven’t been in some time – the girl who could write and draw and paint and take photos and let creativity flow freely and live some beautiful amazing life.

I used to be her. And I miss her. I can’t wait to have myself back.

Wish me luck.

~Angel

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“I learned to write by writing. I tended to do anything as long as it felt like an adventure, and to stop when it felt like work, which meant that life did not feel like work.”  -Neil Gaiman

 

Well, I survived surgery on the 11th. Other than a little here and there complications, it went well.  A grapefruit sized cyst was removed from my fallopian tube, and that aspect is a lot more comfortable. Now I just need to finish healing from the surgery itself.

Something nice that came from being home resting for a little over a week, was a desire to write and a burst of creativity. The downside to this, though, was that I couldn’t really sit up to do much of anything without a lot of pain or feeling sick. But now that I can (somewhat) sit up, I’ve been writing. I haven’t worked on any specific project, so much as just let myself type and see what comes of the words. So far, I really like it. But soon I have to get back to more serious words.

As 2014 comes to a close next week, I’ve had my mind on 2015, and what I’d like to do with a whole new year. Above anything, I want to make it incredible. I want to move forward, to better things. Even though it scares me.

findyourvoice

Jump, and you will find out how to unfold your wings as you fall.

—Ray Bradbury

 So, I’m making a list of all the things I’d like to work on next year. What I want to accomplish, where I’d like to be by this time next year, etc. Expect that Monday or Tuesday.

I know the number one thing on that list, though, is to get something published. Something big, something little. Anything. Anything but sitting here doing nothing. I don’t want to waste another moment saying that I want to be a writer. I AM a writer.

Alright, back to my words.

~Angel