Posts Tagged ‘misadventures’

plane

“Never say ‘no’ to adventures. Always say ‘yes,’ otherwise you’ll lead a very dull life.”

— Ian Fleming

It’s stirring inside of me again. An overwhelming desire to pack up my bags and load the car, head onto the interstate or go to the airport. I need adventure again. I need to wander the streets of New Orleans, entranced by the music at every corner. I need to let go in Salem, dancing at circle on a sabbat with strangers, lost in the incredible connection of energy. I need Boston, out on the boat surrounded by whales. I need Chicago, listening to James Marsters sing before having dinner at his birthday party. I need Orlando, where I can hop on a ride and take on a new life for a few moments. I need to go. I need to see something other than the middle of nowhere.

 I don’t want to have to fight anymore,
I’m tired.
I don’t want to have to feel anymore,
uninspired.

It helps me with so much when I travel. My body may become physically exhausted, but my mind is clear and stress is relieved for oh-so-long while I’m away from my regular life. I feel like writing and creating and just aiming for the stars. I am reminded I can be more, and it wakes the muse inside my head.

So long my flame, my warmth, my fear, my fight,
The road’s calling again tonight.
Dreaming under street lights,
Maybe I’ll catch a train to Rome,
See the world until I can’t go on,
Then maybe I’ll come traveling home.

But sometimes, other people don’t exactly get that. So, again, I’m faced with people telling me I really need to consider my priorities, and buy a house and settle down, an do all of these things I couldn’t just do even if I wasn’t traveling so much. But the people telling me again and again, like they’re scolding a child, that I need to stay put a while don’t understand. I don’t think I’ll ever be happy in one place. Even if it’s just occasionally going to Orlando or something – I need to get away for a bit to function correctly. It seems that is the best medicine for me. It isn’t that I don’t love the people I have here, or anything. I just need a reset on occasion.

‘Cause when the road takes it’s toll
And these cities come and go
Filled with people I don’t know
You’ll be in my heart
And I’ll dream of where you are tonight.

So I’m going through a balancing act: save save save for adventures, and save save save for responsible adult life. And even though that still isn’t enough, at least I feel comfortable knowing I’m trying to manage what I want from my life, and what everyone else expects.

TooMuchToAsk

Maybe I’ll go it all alone
See the world and make my way back home
Or maybe I’ll keep traveling on

Either way, I will keep going. I will write. I will create. I will venture out into the world. I will find a home somewhere, some way, and I will build the life that fits what I need. But I will not give up or give in. I will continue to occasionally pack a suitcase and go somewhere else, even if it’s just a few days.

And if travel is like love, it is, in the end, mostly because it’s a heightened state of awareness, in which we are mindful, receptive, undimmed by familiarity and ready to be transformed. That is why the best trips, like the best love affairs, never really end.

~Angel

 

I’ve been binge-watching the first season of Game of Thrones. That’s more of an FYI than important good news, haha.

 

First things first —

WE DID IT!

LOFK

You may or may not remember me mentioning that I was working on getting this screening of Legends of the Knight to my local AMC in hopes of raising money for the Muscular Dystrophy Association in memory of my friend, Eric. Well… we met our threshold! With FIFTEEN MINUTES TO SPARE! It was a close call, but we made it. We still have 53 seats available, and are taking donations through the site: http://www.tugg.com/events/8559  — if you would be feeling so generous.

So even though I have a fairly stressful week ahead, with my appointments Wednesday and the screening that I’m hosting on Thursday, I’m really pretty excited. This has been a scary wound reopen, but it’s going to be worth it.

What other news do I have to share, you may be wondering? Well, seeing as I am always looking for a way to make something productive out of things otherwise considered “useless” by some people, and I do have a small addiction to projects…

I’ve decided to put my nerdy knowledge and con travels to good use – I’m starting a website called Hail to the Geek, Baby.

HailtotheGeekBaby

It will feature a little bit of everything, from Nerdy News, to con coverage and cosplayers, geek fashion, etc. I want to cover the bases.

Right now, the only functioning thing up and running is the Facebook like page – Hail to the Geek, Baby. I’m planning to launch the site itself next month for Geek Pride Day. Fingers crossed it does well, folks. I’ve already got two staff writers on board, which will take a huge weight off my shoulders.

Well, that’s all I can really say for now, guys. Hopefully some more good news to come!

~Angel

 

Quick little post for you all….:

nerdy

A good percent of the time, I am met with a lot of disrespectful comments because of my tattoos/appearance, general interests, career goals, etc. This is especially frequent in my job. However, after an extremely unpleasant instance of this today, in which you’d think because I have tattoos I kick puppies or something, I ended up having a wonderful conversation with a work associate about our nerdy interests and such, as we normally do, and how I remind her of her daughter and my advice has been awesome and journeys etc. and how she adores the general comradery of most legitimately passionate nerd-folk. We briefly touched on my own appreciation because of instances like earlier, and she agreed it made no sense. We talked about some different things off topic that I am doing or have done of any interest, and she said “Wow. See? You’ve done more and aspire for more than all those people combined, and there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.” I agreed. We also discussed her daughter finally realizing that being a nerd-minded girl wasn’t something to be ashamed of, but rather to embrace.
I told her she was exactly right, because despite the negativity for my tattoos, or the double-standards these days regarding ‘nerds’ (hot people with a nerdy interest being totally cool, but a passionate but supposedly unattractive nerd…. absolute social suicide), and the like… I’d rather be completely true to myself and not compromise for anyone, than to change or suppress who I am because of people that don’t even know me.
This conversation turned my entire day around. NERD PRIDE!

~Angel

I’ve been invited to participate in a blog tour about the writing process. It was started by Maya Rock www.maya-rock.com. I was invited fellow writer and Facebook friend, Megan Bostic http://meganbostic.blogspot.com

daydream

1) What am I working on?

Oh, you know. Everything. Anything. Nothing.

Honestly, I’ve been splitting my time between edits on the book I’d like to query – let’s nickname it BM, shall we? – as well as two in-progress stories, one of which isn’t much more than an idea still being fleshed out. I normally prefer to actively work on one at a time, but with my Sjogren’s brain, I can only do so much. It’s all over the place, I’m all over the place. It’s a mess in here. *taps forehead*

I’ve also been trying to have more practice at writing in general, specifically trying to get out of my fictional comfort zone. I took a class last semester called “Creative Nonfiction” which I honestly thought would become my breaking point to make me realize I’m a joke of a writer and should give up while I’m ahead. Turns out, I was wrong, and did fairly well in the class. I ended up passing with Honors, my extra Honors project being paper over Sjogren’s Syndrome and my journey with it. My instructor loved it. I was amazed I made it. But it really gave me a much needed boost. I thrive in classes like that, even when I’m doubting myself.

So, to gain more practice, I’ve been writing for various things. There was, of course, interviews and reviews for A Thousand Lives Reviews. But I haven’t been able to log into that blog for some time now, and that’s a bit disappointing. I’ve also been a Staff Writer for Ax Wound, which is a giant honor to me, and I’m proud of my work there.

And, oddly, if I could get around to having more time for it… I think I’d love getting back into FanFiction.

2)How does my work differ from others of its genre?

This is a weird question to me. Obviously I think it stands out because, well… It’s MINE. My work, my voice, my way of perceiving and regurgitating this grand adventure we call Life. Was that a bit much? Oh well. The point is, what I really see as the difference is that it’s my way of doing things, my voice shouting into the void.

3)Why do I write what I do?

I write what I do because that’s what I like to read about. Mostly, it’s just because some idea pops up in my skull one day, and off I go scribbling things down until there is something worth fleshing out. Sometimes it’s a thought, or an image, or just something playing out in my head like a memory. I write what I do because it’s just what the Muse is throwing at me. She pokes and prods at my brain until I give in and give her what she wants.

But mostly, I write because there is something within me that needs to come out, and so I release it back out into the world with words or paint or photos until I can think clearly again. That’s why I write what I do. That’s why I spent a lot of time writing strictly horror – because I had a festering darkness that needed to come out. Now I just want to prance around La-La Land. And that’s just fine.

4)How does your writing process work?

Oh, you know:

TwirlPencil

Actually, in all reality, my writing process is simple. I just sit down and let the words come. I’d like to say I have that stereotyped image of me sitting in Starbucks with my laptop, sipping on some coffee and hammering out a bestseller. But that’s not how it works for me because a) I hate coffee, and b) I’m not a Café Writer. Writing is a very solo experience to me. I like to be alone with my headphones on. Usually I write at my desk or at the dining room table. Occasionally, I sit outside on really nice days, especially if I’m working on something that has to do with my characters being outside. I’ve also been known to write at specific tables outside of the college between classes, as well as in the library at one of the private cubicle things.

Wherever I am, I let the words come. If it’s a specific project, I read over where I left off, maybe glance through notes etc. If I’m just free writing for the sake of getting an idea or scene out, I just let whatever needs to be written down come out. I typically work off of paper initially, or at least for a good portion of whatever I’m working on. It’s not too common that I write everything out on a computer. Not that I don’t like to, I just enjoy handwriting everything first for whatever odd reason. I have notebooks upon notebooks of work.

Which leads me to this: I’m a Notebook Writer (there are various types of writers in my mind), which essentially means I carry a notebook everywhere at all times, or at least make sure I have a pen. For example, the instance of being so inspired in New Orleans, I was scribbling thoughts on top of a pizza box as I walked down Royal street. Wherever I travel, I take a notebook of some form with me. I keep a notebook in my purse at all times, to fill with quotes or dialogue or ideas or whatever I need to jot down.

But it’s all part of my process as a writer. Mainly, I’m a slave to the ideas and the muse. I’m also a big fan of music while I write. I especially like making soundtracks based off of music that I feel matches the overall theme or even some specific scenes for whatever I’m writing.

 

So, there you have it – My Writing Process. Now, here’s where I’m SUPPOSED to tag someone else. I tagged my friend Alesha, but I don’t know that she’ll have time to post one… so, we shall see. Otherwise, I’m a partial failure. 😀

~Angel

BeAWriter

So, I made a fairly spontaneous decision to jump on an opportunity to go to New Orleans. It was pretty last minute too, since I had less than a month once I decided, in January, to book my travel plans to go down in the beginning of February. But I needed a getaway, and when the chance presented itself… I couldn’t resist.

Granted, what was supposed to be a morning flying down with an afternoon of free time turned into me having to drive down at 3pm when our flight got screwed up did really stress me out more than necessary, I still managed to get to New Orleans (granted, it was almost 4 am) and enjoy myself:

Scan0028

Why, yes. That is Matt Smith – the 11th Doctor, the Raggedy Man, in Doctor Who 😀

Scan0030

Scan0029 Robert Englund, one of my favorite people in the entire world.

Childhood Role model, Elvira!

Childhood Role model, Elvira!

Not to mention, spending a good eternity one night being a very enthusiastic background person while filming for SyFy. Whenever that comes out, I will be sure to share with everyone.

Now, I did get more done than just running around with celebrities and filming things. I also managed to touch base with my pesky muse, who had been randomly passing out drunk all over the place and not properly doing her job, mostly because she’s upset with me for not spending as much time together as we used to. Well, Muse, I hate to break it to you, but some of us have jobs and illnesses and don’t get to lounge about all day watching reruns of America’s Next Top Model! *sigh* *deep breath* Okay, I’m sorry, Muse. That was a bit much. I’ll apologize to both you AND our guests.

As I was stating before, I spent time with my lovely and wonderful, presently sober, and forever brilliant Muse while I was in New Orleans. We were so bonded that I could actually feel the persistent ache of my creative juices wanting to flow and be free. I’m not sure if it was the mind-numbingly long drive (to me, at least), or the fact that New Orleans is just good for my soul. But I was inspired just by being there:

A little artsy-smartsy fantasy I lived out: sketching the St. Louis Cathedral while sitting at the Café Du Monde.

A little artsy-smartsy fantasy I lived out: sketching the St. Louis Cathedral while sitting at the Café Du Monde.

Walking home from (my personal favorite restaurant I've found so far in New Orleans) Angeli on Decatur with my delicious leftover Lucifer's Pizza, I was so taken by the music playing in the streets and just the ever-building inspiration, that I literally HAD TO start writing on my pizza box as I walked. I then transferred ideas from pizza box to notebook. XD

Walking home from (my personal favorite restaurant I’ve found so far in New Orleans) Angeli on Decatur with my delicious leftover Lucifer’s Pizza, I was so taken by the music playing in the streets and just the ever-building inspiration, that I literally HAD TO start writing on my pizza box as I walked. I then transferred ideas from pizza box to notebook. XD

So there you have it, a brief summary of my trip to my beloved NOLA. I need to take a trip back when I have less going on that preoccupies me. Take the time to fully give myself over to the inspiration and not worry about another damn thing. I know my muse would like the time with me.

~Angel

I’m a big fan of nurturing my inner child. It’s not a secret, because it’s so painfully evident that other people decide to play Captain Obvious and remind me that I’m child-like. Thanks, got it.

I can’t really help it – the little things in life still excite me. Imagination and creativity and wonder fuel my existence. I’d rather curl up and watch cartoons than go to a fancy restaurant date. I like collecting toys and plushies and things that just bring a smile to my face. I geek out over Batman, Harry Potter, Doctor Who, etc like you wouldn’t even believe, with a sort of nerdy joy that many instantly refer to as acting like a kid on Christmas morning.

And for a while, off and on in my life, this has made me feel terrible. Not because I don’t like it, but because other people make me feel like I shouldn’t. Adults don’t focus on those things. Adults don’t like those things. Adults blah blah blah. I hear it constantly about my travels and my dreams and everything people can find to criticize. For a while, I really didn’t understand why I just couldn’t be like everyone else and function like me. Then this thought occurred to me when I saw Rise of the Guardians:RotG

When North (the Santa character), is describing himself and what makes him a guardian, he explains his Center. For North, after you pass all the other layers, at his very core is Wonder. He is wide-eyed and child-like and sees all this magic and beauty and potential to the world. He then asks Jack, “What is yours?”

If I broke myself down, I think I could be – from outside inward:

1.) Weird

2.) Creative

3.) Strong

4.) Compassionate & loyal

5.) Courageous

and, at the very center, I am…

6.) Adventurous and full of Wonder

Not to copy North or anything on the Wonder part, but honestly at my center is my childlike wonder. The girl that used to adventure through the woods and take it all in, wide-eyed and fascinated. In a way, I’ve never come out of that. I still wander to unfamiliar places and take it all in with appreciation. I want to take off and explore and be the girl I’ve always been in my heart.

So on the outside, I may be a touch weird, and beyond that people realize I’m creative. Sometimes people get farther, to learn I’m strong, compassionate, and loyal. When they really start to see what I’m made of, they see my courage to continue on despite every obstacle. But what makes up everything is my center. The adventurous child.

That is my center; what is yours?

~Angel

My health has been a bit… questionable the past several months, with 2014 deciding to be especially brutal for me. I haven’t been too well to post much, especially about what all was going on, until just the last little bit. So here I sit, ready to spill my guts about all the health type things. Bad before the good, right?

Well, I was sick for a bit in early January with some sort of upper respiratory infection that left me miserable and hardly functioning for a week. That was bad enough. But not long after that, I believe January 18th,  I woke up with some unpleasant lower back pain. It wasn’t comfortable, but I dealt with it all day. The next morning I felt fine for a while, but by that night, I was screaming in my mom’s bathroom floor, convinced I was dying. I am not one to go to the ER for just anything – I literally have to be convinced I’m going to die. The only other time I had been, I was still refusing to go. But this instant? I was begging for my mom to take me. I couldn’t find a comfortable position, and was vomiting. I was sure that my organs were shutting down and I wouldn’t even live long enough to make it to the hospital.

The nurses in the ER hooked me up to an IV and started some fluids, anti-nausea medication, and a pain killer. They took a urine specimen, blood, and sent me for a CT. To my surprise, the doctor said I had a HowIRolltiny kidney stone that would pass on it’s own. I felt ridiculous, but also relieved. The nurse, however, when getting ready to discharge me, mentioned something else  –  a left ovarian mass. The doctor had forgotten that part. He prescribed me an antibiotic and Tylenol and sent me on my way.

A day or two later, a nurse from the ER called me. She insisted I see a Urologist about my kidney stone and follow up with my doctor about my ovarian mass so I could get an MRI. This phone call really bothered me, so we had them send my CT report to work. Sure enough, there was a big ol’ spot on my left ovary. And something that bothered me just as much – especially since I was still having pain where my stone was… Not only was my kidney stone bigger than the ER doctor said,

It was stuck.

The technical way we could phrase that is an obstructing kidney stone that caused a small rupture. Yup. It said rupture. In other words, I had some leaking fluid coming out because my kidney is a spoiled brat.

Later that week, we did get the MRI done for the sake of my ovary, which showed it was slightly larger even and appeared cystic. Then we did an ultrasound to check on my kidney stone – my kidney was still swollen, which meant I likely still had it stuck. The next week, I went to see a Urologist.

I was hoping for some magical pill or treatment procedure that did not involve scaring me senseless. Unfortunately for me, the doctor said I needed to have a procedure done the following week. The whole shebang – putting me to sleep, going in and using a laser to remove the stone, then putting a stent in for a week. Since I’ve never had a procedure in which I needed to be admitted and have something put into my body while I’m unconscious, I was pretty nervous.

And I can assure you, the stent was NOT MY FRIEND.

I spent a week and two days with pain and constant discomfort before we could remove it, which meant I had to undergo the same admission process and go back to sleep, the whole nine yards, just to take it out. But I was completely ready and willing to have that thing removed. Ick.

Anyway, I have a Urology follow up Monday and meet my new Rheumatologist Wednesday, so expect another health related post in the near future.

makenicethings

~Angel