Misadventures of a Misfit

I’m a big fan of nurturing my inner child. It’s not a secret, because it’s so painfully evident that other people decide to play Captain Obvious and remind me that I’m child-like. Thanks, got it.

I can’t really help it – the little things in life still excite me. Imagination and creativity and wonder fuel my existence. I’d rather curl up and watch cartoons than go to a fancy restaurant date. I like collecting toys and plushies and things that just bring a smile to my face. I geek out over Batman, Harry Potter, Doctor Who, etc like you wouldn’t even believe, with a sort of nerdy joy that many instantly refer to as acting like a kid on Christmas morning.

And for a while, off and on in my life, this has made me feel terrible. Not because I don’t like it, but because other people make me feel like I shouldn’t. Adults don’t focus on those things. Adults don’t like those things. Adults blah blah blah. I hear it constantly about my travels and my dreams and everything people can find to criticize. For a while, I really didn’t understand why I just couldn’t be like everyone else and function like me. Then this thought occurred to me when I saw Rise of the Guardians:

When North (the Santa character), is describing himself and what makes him a guardian, he explains his Center. For North, after you pass all the other layers, at his very core is Wonder. He is wide-eyed and child-like and sees all this magic and beauty and potential to the world. He then asks Jack, “What is yours?”

If I broke myself down, I think I could be – from outside inward:

1.) Weird

2.) Creative

3.) Strong

4.) Compassionate & loyal

5.) Courageous

and, at the very center, I am…

6.) Adventurous and full of Wonder

Not to copy North or anything on the Wonder part, but honestly at my center is my childlike wonder. The girl that used to adventure through the woods and take it all in, wide-eyed and fascinated. In a way, I’ve never come out of that. I still wander to unfamiliar places and take it all in with appreciation. I want to take off and explore and be the girl I’ve always been in my heart.

So on the outside, I may be a touch weird, and beyond that people realize I’m creative. Sometimes people get farther, to learn I’m strong, compassionate, and loyal. When they really start to see what I’m made of, they see my courage to continue on despite every obstacle. But what makes up everything is my center. The adventurous child.

That is my center; what is yours?

~Angel