Misadventures of a Misfit

Stressed Out

Posted: October 20, 2015 by Angel Young in Life, Travel, Writing
Tags: a writers life for me, artist, create, dreams, halloween horror nights, horror, inspiration, life, lyrics, motivation, quotes, travel, travel depression, writer, writers life for me, writing

We used to play pretend, give each other different names,
We would build a rocket ship and then we’d fly it far away,
Used to dream of outer space but now they’re laughing at our face,
Saying, “wake up, you need to make money.”

Whenever I travel and find myself inspired on my journey, it does two things. Obviously, one thing it does is strike me with a desire to create and work harder. But an unfortunate counter to that inspiration, is a terrible reminder in the back of my mind, gnawing at me despite how desperately I try to block it out, that I am not where I want to be in life, and that in itself can kill the positive aspects of travel.

This is my post-travel depression. Every time I come home, I don’t feel at home. I feel lost. It’s like I come back to normal life, and I don’t remember who I am. I lose the connection I had to my happiest self, and during this disconnection, I return to the girl I have to be. The girl putting everyone and everything else first.

Granted, I have continued working on this problem, as promised. This has helped my stress not be as stressful. But I’m still a little off.

But, I have to continue forward. I’m still giving myself the freedom to love what I love. To enjoy the things that spark my creativity and make me want to do more. It’s been interesting seeing how helpful reintegrating horror back in as a regular staple has been. By the time I got to Halloween Horror Nights at Universal last Friday, I was ready to take in everything around me and not only enjoy it for what it was, but to use it as a source of inspiration. I felt excited and happy and ready to create.

Now I’m back to real life, and I’m trying to hold on to the motivation. I started doodling and sketching last night. I want to write when I get a chance. I’m trying to work on ideas for some different projects. I’ve been planning out posts for Wandering NerdGirl based off of my trip. I can do this. I know I can. I can work hard and get somewhere.

Let’s see what I can do now, shall we?

~Angel

Batman Collection – September 2015

Posted: October 1, 2015 by Angel Young in Batman Collection, Nerd Pride
Tags: adrienne barbeau, arkham asylum, arkham knight, awesome, batfan, batgirl, Batman, batman begins, batman collection, Batman Returns, batman the animated series, batmobile, blog, collection, collector, comic con, dark knight, dorbz, gotham, gotham city serials, harley quinn, largest batman collection, photo, picture, pop vinyl, sdcc, sdcc 2015, sdcc exclusive, suicide squad, the joker, vinyl vixens

So, here we go – my very first monthly haul post for my collection! Well, aside from the birthday/con post. If you like this post, please let me know, and I’ll keep them going! Now, let’s get started:

Batgirl Mopeez plush

Joker Mopeez plush

Okay, technically, this one is from the end of August, but I was really excited to finally own it, so I want to share it anyway! Haha. This is the Complete 1940’s Movie Serials Collection. In the 1940s, before Adam West took up the cowl, two other men played the role of Batman: Lewis Wilson (Batman 1943) and Robert Lowery (Batman and Robin 1949) in 15 chapter movie serials. These weren’t the greatest things ever made, by far, and that’s probably part of why people don’t talk about them as much. But this is part of Batman’s early history, and a necessity in my opinion for any Batman collector.

I really wanted more of the Riddler in my collection, so I ordered this Riddler bust bank, and I love him!

This Harley Quinn head bank is seriously HUGE. Like, lifesize head. But I adore it!

However, this is a tiny snow globe. Probably around the size of a baseball in the globe itself. Either way, it’s adorable.

Batgirl Ame-Comi figure. I really love Batgirl, so adding a few things with her this month has made me pretty happy.

MORE BATMOBILE! I love adding larger scale Batmobiles to my collection.

Harley Quinn Sunglasses

Batman and Robin Mopeez! Finally have all the Batman ones I wanted.

Poison Ivy, Harley Quinn, and Batman lip balms.

NECA Scalers -Dark Knight

Limited edition Catwoman (from Batman: the Animated Series) “Itty Bitty” plush from Hallmark.

“Gotham” Season One on DVD

Batman Forever and Batman and Robin soundtracks.

SDCC 2015 Exclusive Gotham Minimates, featuring Detective James Gordon and Bruce Wayne.

VHS copies of Batman and Batman Returns.

Batman: Arkham Knight Collector’s Edition strategy guide, and four character lithographs: Batman, Arkham Knight, Scarecrow, and the Batmobile.

The Dorbz figures really live up to their name because they’re ADORABLE. I added Killer Croc (far right) this month, so I’m all caught up until more are released, not including the Dorbz XL Batman and Robin just released.

Limited Edition Joker Itty Bitty from Hallmark

Batgirl cape and Batman utility belt waist cinch, both from Spirit Halloween.

New Suicide Squad graphic novel. I count this among my Batman collection mostly because of Harley Quinn’s involvement as a main character.

Harley Quinn playing cards.

Man, I LOOOOVE the Vinyl Vixen line from Vinyl Sugar. Such gorgeous pieces! Here’s my new Batgirl.

SDCC 2015 Exclusive Harley Quinn and Joker minis.

New Harley Quinn mini bust, styled after her look in Suicide Squad.

Batman movie novelizations: Batman, Batman Returns, Batman Forever, Batman & Robin, and Batman Begins.

The New Batman Adventures bendable Batman figure.

11×17 Gotham print.

Joker action figure by Kenner.

Batman Returns playing cards.

Batman trashcan and washcloths.

Hot Topic Exclusive Batman: Arkham Asylum ‘Detective Mode’ Pop! Vinyl figure.

Harley Quinn Arkham Knight Pop! Vinyl figure.

Inflatable Harley Quinn gun.

And finally, this beautiful Batman snow globe.

—

Now, not every month is like this. I believe there was around 42 items. Some months, there’s more stuff. Some months, less stuff. It depends on factors such as what is going on that month and what has to be paid for, or whether I buy more expensive items than cheaper stuff. I have two statues coming in this month that took up some money from my wallet, plus some other things I’ve wanted and finally ordered. So, it really varies.

If you liked this post, give it a like or drop a comment, and I can do one of these the end of every month. I’m also happy to answer questions about each item, if you’re looking for it yourself.

~Angel

Why Not Us

Posted: September 30, 2015 by Angel Young in Life, Writing
Tags: a writers life for me, Batman, blog, dreams, goals, harry potter, harry potter gif, health, hogwarts, motivation, quotes, sjogrens, stress, writer, writing

“Working hard is important, but there’s something that matters even more. Believing in yourself. Think of it this way: Every great wizard in history has started out as nothing more than we are now. Students. If they can do it, why not us?” – Harry Potter (Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix)

My body doesn’t care about what I want to do, or what I need to do. My body is an angry, vengeful creature staging a violent rebellion against me for everything I do. But I continue regardless, because things must be done, whether my body wants them done.
It makes writing difficult. It makes waking up earlier difficult. It makes focusing on projects and having the energy to complete anything difficult. It makes work difficult. It makes everything difficult. But I cope. I deal. I do my best.

I’ve spent so much time lately beating myself up for the days I can’t do the extra stuff. The days I can’t get out of bed. The days I give more to my day job than I get paid for. But being upset with myself makes matters worse. I need to be my own motivator, and instead I’m dragging myself down.

So, I will write. I will draw. I will post about Batman stuff and nerdy adventures.

Despite being horribly sick all week, I’m continuing on with work and trying desperately to find time to write. I hammered out a quick short story to get myself back into gear. It was sloppy and weird, and hummed with the influence of reintroducing horror back into my life as a regular staple.

But now, I need to get to work on more serious projects. I need to accomplish more.

I can do this. I can push though. I can be everything I want and more.

I just have to believe in myself. Why not me?

~Angel

Batman: Birthday and Con Haul

Posted: September 11, 2015 by Angel Young in Batman Collection, Nerd Pride, Travel
Tags: adam west, adrienne barbeau, alfred, batfan, Batman, batman and psychology, batman collection, Batman Returns, Batman television show, batman the animated series, ben mckenzie, bleacher creatures, blog, burt ward, catwoman, chicago, collection haul, collector, comic con, detective gordon, funko, geek, gotham, harley quinn, james gordon, joker, kenner, legends of the knight, life, mopeez, neal adams, nerd, poison iy, sean pertwee, travel, travis langley, vip, wandering nerdgirl, wizard world, wizard world chicago, yvonne craig

I’ve decided to do an initial post of my Batman Collection haul idea, starting with the things I received for my birthday and what I picked up at con. If you like this post, let me know! I plan to follow up with a collection haul post for the month of September as well. Here we go!

My VIP badge for Wizard World Chicago. Ben McKenzie, who plays Detective James Gordon in the Fox TV show “Gotham”

Autograph from Ben McKenzie. I also have a photo of myself with him, as well as a dual photo of myself with him and Sean Pertwee, but I don’t have a good picture of that picture, so I’ll save it for my Wandering NerdGirl blog haha.

Speaking of Sean Pertwee..

Seriously one of the coolest actors I’ve met. I love him in so much more, but obviously I needed a photo of him as Alfred – or “00-Alfred”, as he signed it.

Picked up the DC Collectibles replica Detective badge of James Gordon from Gotham. I wanted it anyway, seemed fitting to get it on the trip.

Another Batman related actor I had the pleasure of meeting was Adrienne Barbeau. Again, someone I loved for so much more, but HAD TO get her autograph on something Catwoman, since she voiced her in the Animated Series.

I picked up this gorgeous Poison Ivy print from artist Greg Horn at con. Absolutely loved it and his art in general.

I bought this Batman cover replica print and had Neal Adams sign it for me – something I’ve wanted to do for so long!

I first heard about Travis Langley in the documentary “Legends of the Knight”, and I’ve wanted his book, “Batman and Psychology: A Dark and Stormy Knight”, for a while. I love Batman, I love Psychology, and I love this book so far!

Batman Returns Catwoman Kenner figure I’ve wanted for some time.

Final con related pick up – this Bleacher Creature Harley Quinn plush I’ve been wanting for a while.

Alright, now that we have that hurdle out of the way, let’s show a few of my beloved birthday gifts!

These were from my mom, and I technically had them for a little while before my birthday, but still. Batman, Robin, and Batgirl from the 60’s Batman television show.

Assorted goodies from my best friend.

Badass Harley Quinn and Batman umbrella from my brother.

Harley Quinn goodies from my lovely Skylar, all the way in Washington right now

Finally, my beloved Harley Quinn Mopeez plush, a gift from my office manager. I ADORE HER SO MUCH. LOOK AT THAT CUTE LITTLE FACE! Ugh. Adorable.

Well, there you have it! What did you think? Any details you’d like added? Want to see more posts like this? Let me know in the comments!

~Angel

Writing and Horror and Batman (OH MY!)

Posted: September 9, 2015 by Angel Young in Life, Writing
Tags: a writers life for me, Batman, batman collection, batman memorabilia, blog, dreams, health, horror, horror movies, horror writer, inspiration, life, motivation, movies, work, writer, writing

Sometimes, when I’m working on a single project, I can focus solely on that one project and block out every other idea bouncing about in my head. Lately, however, I’ve been lacking the focus to get everything done I need to with one project from start to finish, because I get distracted by new ideas, and then my brain cannot focus on the project at hand.

That’s where I’m at right now. I need to focus on revision edits and things, buuuuuuut this idea keeps popping into my head. So, I decided to give in and let it have some of my attention, hoping that if I could appease it by writing down my ideas, it would settle down. Nope. Ideas abundant.

But, hey – who am I to complain? Writing is writing. At this point, any writing I can get done is good. Even if it isn’t a priority project.

I’m slowly but surely making myself a main focus, as selfish as that sounds. I spend so much time devoted to work or family or friends, that I don’t save time for Angel. Not that work/friends/family shouldn’t be counted as important. But a girl has to have her time to herself, you know? My projects, my relaxing time, my time to do whatever I need or want. Sometimes I just want to watch a movie by myself while I clean my room. Most of the time I’m around other people. I’m an introvert – I need recharge time, away from people.

Not just that, though – I need to give my health priority over everything else. I need a healthier lifestyle, but the more stressed I get, the more I crave comfort foods and soda. That’s not what my body needs, and I need to focus on that more.

Something big, though it sounds odd to say, that I’ve been reintegrating back into my regular life is horror. I used to watch horror movies all the time. I read horror. I was obsessed with it. I originally really got into writing through my love of horror – that’s what my first real stories were. I started thinking about it and realized that maybe part of my slump, as strange as it sounds, could have something to do with that.

It seems to be helping thus far. I feel better and more like myself. It’s such a simple and weird solution, to just watch some horror movies and read some creepy books. But whatever it takes to make me feel better, you know?

Speaking of – my Batman collection has been getting a lot of nurturing lately, and it’s growing into something I’m really proud of and want to showcase. I’d like to do more pictures and updates on it, maybe a monthly haul post? I’m not sure yet. If you’re interested, definitely let me know!

Anyway, here I go, doing my thing: writing and watching scary movies and working and hoarding Batman stuff.

~Angel

Led Only By The Stars

Posted: August 26, 2015 by Angel Young in Life, Travel, Writing
Tags: a writers life for me, aspiring writer, birthday, blog, chicago, comic con, dreams, goals, hail to the geek baby, inspiration, life, motivation, nerd life, travel, vacation, wandering nerdgirl, WIP, work, writer, writing

Hello, my name is Angel, and I am extremely tired.

I keep falling behind on posting, and for that I am very sorry. I tell myself I need to write something, and then I get distracted or I’ve got a million things going on, and I get exhausted and tell myself that I’ll just do it ‘tomorrow’ – except when I get to that day finally, I put it off again. And again.

And again.

But here we are!

Obviously, being back at the day job has taken up quite a bit of my time. Add that to my trip to Chicago last weekend for my birthday (Yay, I’m now 25!), and I’ve been a very busy gal.

I had started working on a new project around the same time I started working again, but then quickly lost any and all free time that I had planned to use to write. In the process, I fell into more unhealthy habits – drinking soda again, sitting on my bum all day, eating less than healthy foods, etc – and have all around been failing at what progress I had been making in my life. As I had feared, everything else was pushed to the back burner while I worked my little fingers to the bone on things that, in the end, don’t matter to me nearly as much.

But my weekend away in Chicago made me realize something: just how badly I wanted those dreams of mine to be a reality. And I know I say that a lot. I know I kick myself into gear and then slack for whatever reason. But it doesn’t mean I don’t want to accomplish everything I’ve set out to do. This past weekend, I was surrounded by inspiration. I saw people on various levels of living out their dreams, and when I was on my flight back to reality, it sank in just how badly I wanted that for myself. No one should dread coming back to their life. But I always do. And I want that to change.

With that said, it’s time I get back to work on what matters. I’m going to get up earlier and go to bed later. I’m going to research and work and save and do everything possible to make everything possible. I’m going to work on Hail to the Geek, Baby and WanderingNerdGirl.com. And I’m NOT GOING TO PUT OFF POSTING! Once a week at least, that’s my goal. Hold me to it!

Figured I’d pop in and let you all know that I’m definitely alive, and tired, and trying harder than ever.

Let’s make things happen.

~Angel

Out of Time

Posted: July 8, 2015 by Angel Young in Life, Writing
Tags: a writers life for me, blog, death, depression, dreams, failure, goals, inspiration, learning to cope, motivation, quotes, stress, work, writer, writing

Failure – it’s a word I’ve been using against myself for a while now. But the last few months, since my aunt died, I’ve been quietly battering myself with the word.

Charlean was more than just my aunt. She treated me like I was one of her grand kids, and spent most of my childhood taking care of me. There’d be times once I was older that we’d have a difference of opinion, but she still loved me all the same. I spent the last few years regularly going over and bringing her books to read from my collection. But the books she wanted to read the most, she never had the chance to.

Mine.

And just a week or so before she died, I was promising I’d have a decent draft to bring by for her to read. I printed my manuscript. I was almost to the day job finish line. I could do it. I could finally let her read something I had written.

Then, I failed.

I was there when she died. I was there when the nurse came to clean the body. I was there when they came to take her away. It started at 3am and felt like it went on for an eternity. It was hard. Ridiculously hard.

Before my mother and I headed home, my uncle told me to go into my aunt’s bedroom and get the books she had borrowed off of her shelf. That’s when it hit me.

When I held those books in my hand and saw the bookmark where she left off, and the books she had yet to finish, it felt like an elephant stepped on my chest. I couldn’t cry again. I couldn’t breathe. Her life had stopped so abruptly, and then the thought finally hit me. I had failed her.

I have tried to reason with myself that I didn’t really fail her. But she always asked to read something of mine, and I always let everything else be more important than getting my writing career off the ground. She believed in me more than I ever have.

The thought still lingers there. It held me up on progress during my time I spent unemployed. I was ashamed of myself, and the words just wouldn’t come when I needed to write. All I could focus on was that word. Failure. I was out of time, so why should I progress?

It’s becoming easier now to confront this feeling. I’ve started writing again. Started edits again on the manuscript I had wanted her to read. I’m working on my projects and trying to balance things out and get my life back together. It still eats at me, but it also drives me.

I count her among those I must live for now.

~Angel

Balancing Act

Posted: July 2, 2015 by Angel Young in Life, Writing
Tags: a writers life for me, blog, dreams, goals, image, inspiration, life, motivation, poem, quotes, work, writer, writing

My sincerest of apologies for disappearing for a bit after my Check In post. Both my computer crashed AND my internet got all screwed up. It was a very painful time in my life, haha. But seriously. Blogging becomes a problem whenever you have no computer or internet. Go figure.

So, I started work again. A different position, but better pay. I have the best coworkers, that understand my illness and my weirdness. We are encouraged to have individuality. I feel more comfortable giving my time to this day job, and I’m nowhere near as miserable as I once was. It’s a good feeling. I’ll have money for travel, appointments, savings.

But what about writing? Or art? Or any of the projects and things I’ve been devoting my free time to? Never fear. I’m making time. I’m actually more motivated and not only working on the manuscript I’ve been working on editing and revising for submission, but also working on rewriting an old favorite. I’m working hard to get WanderingNerdGirl.com customized and set up with posts. So don’t panic. I’m still working hard. The words will still come, despite the job.

Keep calm and keep checking back, folks!

~Angel

Checking In

Posted: May 26, 2015 by Angel Young in Life
Tags: blog, depression, health, orlando, travel

Stuff got pretty busy after my last post and my vow to let go of the negative things dragging me down. I put a lot of focus into a new project, planned and packed for the trip to Orlando with my nieces – which I just got back from, and just focused in general on making things better. I focused on my health, lost a bit of weight, and held tight to the plan: to pursue happiness.

This worked well in the time leading up to the trip. But now that I’m home, I’m going through the same thing I always go through: post trip depression. And this time, it’s weighing pretty heavy on me.

But I refuse to let it beat me much longer. I’ve been off track with my health stuff – not taking meds I need to, eating and drinking things that hurt my body, and just not giving my body the attention it was getting used to. So I’m turning it all back around. I have to have some tests done tomorrow before I see my kidney specialist next week. I’ll take this time to make improvements.

I’ll have a proper couple of posts ready soon. I just wanted to drop in and let everyone know I’m okay, and plan to be even better than that soon enough. 🙂

~Angel

Letting Go of the Negative Thoughts

Posted: April 10, 2015 by Angel Young in Life
Tags: a writers life for me, blog, depression, dreams, goals, inspiration, life, motivation, stress, vacation, writer

Everything has been pretty miserable lately, as you could tell from my last post. I started to regain my footing, however, when I managed to get a shoot done, and started letting myself focus on the fact that I’m taking Lillie and Dica to Orlando for the very first time next month. I wasn’t living the dream yet by any means, but I was starting to get better.

And then, things got worse. Things happened I wasn’t anticipating would happen. Things that make everything much, much harder than they need to be. So, I won’t deny it – I broke down yesterday. I cried and felt angry with the world and just everything. How could everything be getting worse AFTER leaving the day job? Things were supposed to be better?

Today, I’m done thinking about it all in a negative way. Sure, there are things I cannot change. But there are also things that ARE in my power to change. So, I’ll work hard and focus and do what I need to do to make myself happy. As much as I like to make everyone else happy and do what I’m supposed to, it’s time I take care of myself.

I’ll post an update on how that is working out for me in a few days.

~Angel

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