The Wanderer (part 2)

Posted: November 14, 2013 by Angel Young in Life, Travel
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Well, I'm 23, but you get the idea.

  Well, I’m 23, but you get the idea.

I’m not going to dive into my Nashville adventure, the final hurrah of 2013, until the next post. Mostly, because I would like to wrap up this idea of the Wanderer, and why this is who I am, before diving into the specific last trip and all that is to come.

I was who I was: the same woman who pulsed beneath the bruise of her old life, only now I was somewhere else.”

I am searching for something, and a part of my soul is convinced I can find it. In my head, I’ll be off on some grand adventure and it will all suddenly be perfect and clear, and all can be well in my little world once more. All because I left and found what I was searching for.

I am also running away. I’ll throw my things in a bag at a moments notice if I must just to get away. Converse to the pavement, foot to the pedal, butt in the airplane seat. Whatever I have to do to be anywhere else. Because someday I hope to outrun myself. I hope to outrun everything.

This is part of my natural desire to keep myself constantly busy, even if I’m overwhelmed and stressed out and ready to cry. I can’t stand the quiet. I can’t handle running out of things to do.

Lately, I can’t even sit still. I have to pace and move. I start to feel like my skin is crawling and I’m losing my mind otherwise. In a way, I’m sure I am. I become angry and start doing things I don’t normally do, or even want to do. I can’t explain this, really. Maybe it’s the part of myself that I’m running away from.

But at the end of the day, I can’t run from myself. I will always be the person that I am, with the past, present, and future all weaving and entangled. I cannot pretend to be anyone else – it isn’t in my nature. I am Angel Young: good, bad, weird, wonderful, whatever. I may keep searching to the ends of the earth for whatever it is that I’m missing, but I will always be the same girl when I’m there.

At the end of the day, be YOU. Weirdo, wanderer, wonderful. All of them. None of them. But be the very best version of you possible. Take care of yourself, and do what makes you happy. Chase your dreams, even if it means you have to do a bit of searching. Nothing is impossible if you want it badly enough.


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