“I’ll be dead before the day is gone.”

deadbeforethedayisgone

Taken in my field earlier.

Stress is a happy little erosion eating every single bit of happiness from my life. I lose sight of everything because I can’t get a grip on anything, and before I know it, life is spiraling out of my control. It’s crunch time. I don’t need this right now. And it never fails – one step forward, ten steps back. Get something handled or some good news, only to have it all followed up by a series of bad. No matter how hard I try to keep moving forward, I get kicked in the teeth and knocked on my ass.

I am tired.

After my surprise (and somewhat miserable failure) going away party for Skylar, when I was pulling into my driveway, I stopped in the field and got out of the car. Because I’m stressed, and sick, and exhausted, and honestly.. I’m just not sure what to do anymore.

And there it is. The forest. The field. The sunset. Calling me. Some desperate begging from the earth to just go. Leave. Forget everything and explore.

Obviously, I didn’t run off on some grand adventure. But I did walk around for a few minutes, taking in the quiet and letting myself calm down. I don’t feeling one-hundred percent better, but I’m not having a panic attack at least.

And it’s peaceful in the deep
Cathedral where you cannot breathe
No need to pray, no need to speak
Now I am under all

And it’s breaking over me
A thousand miles down to the sea bed
Found the place to rest my head
Never let me go

I really could use that vacation right now. Is it the 17th yet? Because I’d greatly like to not be Angel for a little while. Oh well. Until later,

~Angel

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